Spotted: A weird day turning into a cool night while R shook his damn hot body to electronic beats with wonderful B and damn cool M. Still… freaks are everywhere sneaking up upon us. I can feel them. All around me… can you feel them too?
A serious questions to the universe or perhaps just to the world or just to you – if you have an answer please do not hesitate to write it down and send it to me because I can’t seem to fucking figure it out myself.
Why (and how!) the hell do the Crazy Guys always find me?! Do they have a freaking map with a blinking Burberry Logo on it marking the street I cross or the place I am at?! Seriously… how, why and above all – why the hell ME?!
Yesterday – after I have left the retirement home and right on the way to M’s new flat – I walked down Pilgramgasse straight to the metro (A couple coming up to me asking the way to a market – Naschmarkt, of course – in Spanish and I was suddenly so fluent in describing and communicating that I was fascinated by myself afterwards) when I had to stop at the traffic light. To all the parents and grown ups who walk across a street when it is red – look around you before you do it because there could be kids watching you and thinking this is something they should do to! Try being a role model! And parents grabbing their children to cross street (when having a red sign to actually stop and wait – safety issues and such stuff, you know?!). Hate that.
Nonetheless, I am waiting for the traffic light to turn green and suddenly a guy shows up beside me, touching me and talking to me. I unplug my iPhone and my music. I look at him and know that I know him and all of a sudden he talks and talks about meeting me five years ago at a ball and not forgetting me and crap like that. He wants my number. He wants to take me out… I actually do not give him my number but I get his. I want to say goodbye because I actually felt like simply getting away and running… as fast as I can. I say I have to be at a friend’s place in a couple of minutes. He wants to know if I am talking about my boyfriend. I say no (ah I should have said yes. Yes! And if you ever come close to me he is going to roughly hurt and injure and kill and eat you all up after he did it! No dead body. No evidence.). He smiles and seems happy – which freaks me out somehow. Then I definitely say goodbye. I reach out my hand. He pulls me closer trying to FUCKING kiss me and I am just like ‘Woooooooaaaaw – get the hell away from me’. I push him away. I look at him and ask if he was seriously trying to kiss me and if he would like to get punched by me. I go away cursing this damn guy. I want to call my sister… my iPhone seems to hate me in this situation or simply can’t stop to laugh because I call this guy – unintentionally… I have never hung up on someone so fast.
Today: four calls. One mobile box message… three short messages. He wants to take me out to dinner. He wants me to wear a suit because he likes that for the first date… and I am just like…firstly, na-ah no no never and secondly, are u insane?! Is this suit thing some kind of fetish?! I get a short message where he writes me to please call back because he wants to take me out. He wants a picture via mms with me in tie… and I am like ‘yeah, definitely a fetish!’ and then I write…
‘Sorry but I am not interested in getting to know you. You freak me out. Do not call. Do not write. Do not leave messages anywhere. Have a beautiful life. XO’
That’s all.
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
I seem to also have that knack for attracting the types that are, well just a pain!! I am glad you got rid of him. You have me laughing again your writing is just super. xox
Wow – I feel like I’ve been on a trip with you after reading that – and not a road trip.