Archive for April, 2012
Quite recently I engage myself with the matters of religious beliefs and whether one god or many gods or no gods at all really exist. Or, if all this belief was just created as a constitution to tame and order people into a system where they can be controlled and where they give up all their own spaces, all their freedom of speaking and thinking to give someone a certain amount of power (not just the pope and his co-workers but also a invisible figures who are ‘watching’ us from above or anywhere they are) they never should have received in the first place?
I consider myself as an atheist – I neither do believe in god nor any kind of spirit guiding us or watching over us or creating divine rules for our lives or whatsoever nonsense the churches around the world are praying to a lot of people who silently take most their words for granted and for heavenly law. Supporting my engagement with the matter I bought ‘the Portable Atheist – ESSENTIAL READINGS FOR THE NONBELIEVER‘ selected and with introductions by Christopher Hitchens who is the other of the New York Times #1 bestseller ‘GOD IS NOT GREAT.’
I often wonder why people are always referring to a god (often one in particular) as being thankful for being gifted with something when having achieved or reached a certain life- or mind-changing goal? Is it factitious humidity or is it because people expect them to have a certain belief awaiting sentences like, ‘…and I want to thank god for blessing me,’ or, ‘First, I want to thank god for bringing me here…’
Why can’t people just leave the humidity behind admitting that they are where they are because they worked hard for achieving something, for being where they are, for standing where they stand? Why do people have to give everything they own into the hands of someone who doesn’t even consider us worthy enough to walk amongst us denying us the gift of peace and freedom as unique personalities? If god is so great where is he (or, she or, it or, whatever one wants to believe in) when children are being murdered or when the poor are starving from hunger or when a child loses a mother; a wife her husband; a husband his wife? To put it into the perfectly and wisely chosen words of Christopher Hitchens, ‘What kind of designer or creator is so wasteful and capricious and approximate? What kind of designer or creator is so cruel and indifferent? And – most of all – what kind of designer or creator only chooses to ‘reveal’ himself to semi-stupified peasants in desert regions?’
I am just at the beginning of my research and I will have a lot to learn about the non-existence of gods and of superstitious beliefs that developed throughout centuries and millenniums but I consider myself lucky for having a free spirited mind and for taking my life into my own hands believing in nothing but science and myself AND above all, the people around me. Those who are real and those who follow their dreams. And, if you wonder about where I turn to when some days show their darkest sides then I have to say no one but to my own strength to have a happy, fulfilled life and my dear, dear friends who are always there – if not with words of consolation at least with their hearts and their minds.
What else could a single person else really wish for?
Somehow the while day was kind of weird in an emotional kind of way. Yesterday I had an amazingly open talk with a friend of mine – D and we were talking about the end of his relationship and how it had come that far. I felt unmistakably taken back to my first relationship with all its highs and mostly all its lows. Don’t get me wrong – we had a really great time, laughed a lot, but the main focus of the whole discussion circled around personal space, freedom and development in a relationship. How much space do we really need? How much freedom is too little and if you feel like being stuck at a crossroads in your personal development is it better to let go of the old – the baggage – the one person that holds you back? Do you wake up one day to realize something has to change? And if there is one chance of alteration after another being used and actually being wasted is it finally time to call it quits? To put it in Gossip Girl’s words, ‘In matters of love and war, all weapons cause injury. The questions is, who will live to fight another day?’ Who will be there at the end of the day – weapons held high – to fight for love if already been disappointed so many times? Who will survive this fight that turns out to be the matter of a heart trying not to break into millions of pieces? Once broken it’s out of the game. Once broken it’s lost.
I find myself to be in the middle of an emotional change where matters of love seem to cross over to transform into matters of indifference? And there I wonder how I could stop the process of possibly becoming an emotional ice-king in matters of love relationships and love interests while on the other hand everything I am emotionally interested right now is working and developing my career further – or better, finally starting having a career that I, for myself, can signify as such? How do I start drifting away emotionally in personal relationships – how do I find myself being able of emotional attachment when I see couples breaking up, couples kissing everywhere (please stop that in the metro – I mean, seriously… why? Get a room!), couples being ridiculous with one another in a way that is just gross and that just makes you pity them. When have I become such a cynical person? Where did it all change?
Maybe it was when I realized that love is a social myth – a construction to give people the peace of mind that everyone finds someone special in order to not facing their lives alone. But I wonder – why? What is so bad in being alone? If you have your friends why wishing for someone else in your life? I mean, yes – your friends won’t fuck you (most of them won’t, at least) but for that matter one could have a fling once or twice a year. I guess. Why do people underestimate THE POWER OF GOOD-BYE – saying good-bye to someone who just hurts you instead of sticking to him/her and keeping up with the shitty cards being played? Why not embrace yourself for being happy to be single and free and ready to develop a great drive towards a career that makes you proud of yourself one day. All the others won’t have to look at your mirror reflection ten years from now. But you do. And you will either be proud of what you achieved or devastated from all the things you’ve missed because someone held you back.
Think about that for a change when you look at the one right beside you maybe holding you back? If not – embrace him and be happy to have someone who is there to support you because that is the other, bright side of the medal. If one believes in it. Love. And stuff like that.
P.S.: Day 19 of my 28 Days Sugar Cleansing – got up at 6 am for a run and then hit the shower and a ten hour day at the office.
I feel great. I just miss bread. And I think I have lost a little weight, which is noticeable but not recommendable for my own sake since I was quite thin already. But here’s hoping that it will get back on once I have started to eat carbs again.
I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way, born this way
[Lady GaGa - Born This Way; Album: Born This Way (Deluxe Edition)]
It was finally announced and I just can’t wait! Today I purchased my VIP Ticket to Lady Gaga’s Vienna Concert of ‘The Born This Way Ball Tour’ 2012 on August 18th. I am ready, I am set, I am on the right track – I was born to be there and there goes another big wish on my bucket list – seeing Lady Gaga perform her fantastic, motivating and inspiring songs live.
The VIP Package includes:
Early entrance to the VIP area
After show Party in the VIP area
Separate VIP coat rack for free
Lady Gaga Give Away
Entrance to the VIP area
Beer, Wine, non alcoholic drinks
A local DJ performing after the show
If there is one thing that makes me happy it is seeing Lady Gaga giving her all for the sake of music and the sake of fashion – both domains I am wholeheartedly dedicated to! I am going to marry the night on this wonderfully special day of August and I am already counting the days on my calendar wondering if I can make the time go by faster. Though, I wouldn’t do it – losing days means losing time for picking an outfit and for making myself become my even more fabulous self.
Do you guys already have your tickets? If not – hurry up, hurry up and imagine yourself dancing, shaking and singing to the fabulously glorious beats of Lady Gaga.
P.S. I am already on my 15th day of my 28 Day Sugar Cleansing and I feel great. About an hour ago I was running to the tracks of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Album (yeah, I dedicated the whole day to her since purchasing the tickets had something very religiously glorious for me) in the heaviest of rains we had this year in Vienna and I just felt one thing – great!
Great, because I am alive and aware of it.
Great, because I can cherish beautiful and sad moments and be inspired by them.
Great, because I feel like I am on a good way – in every possible sense.
Great, because I am born this way. This way I am and I celebrate it!
Well, I won’t miss my own life. I made a promise to myself years ago that I would do something important with my life. With myself. That I would become someone who wouldn’t just make something count for himself (because that would be quite jealous, to do everything for my own reasons.) but for others too. I try to be a role model to people. Above all, younger people, because it is them who need to be shown / taught that everything you do ought to be done with caution, dignity. I think people care far too less about the fact that a child might be watching every step one takes in public and therefore, we all should act like role models.
In order to not just become someone people can look up to, but become a better me for my own sake I am taking one step at a time to fulfill my bucket list. You may wonder how?
- Do a Sugar Cleansing for 28 days.
Already started on that one. Day 11. And I feel really great about it. Only 17 more days to go and I will reach my goal and feel better with every single day. The great thing about this cleansing is that it makes me dispute with nutrition (my personal and nutrition in general) and even made me start on cooking (who would have thought that day might ever come along?) and one can even eat it. Sure, every now and then I crave for a piece of cake or a cookie but I do neither touch nor eat nor lick it. So, I consider myself to be stronger than I would have expected.
- Get in better shape. Permanently. You know, with sports.
I didn’t just buy the clothes for running I actually started to do it. Running I mean, not just continuing to shop. Today I bet myself with my farthest best – a 2.48 mile / 4 kilometer run in the rain. I call myself a runner now since about two weeks and I feel really good about it. Every time I come back I feel eased and relaxed and as if my whole life starts again.
- The Art of Archery.
Yesterday I had my first lesson and let me tell you one thing – I LOVE IT. And, I will stay practicing the Art of Archery. Not just the physically but also mentally, meaning to read everything related to bows, arrows, the history of Archery, the roots of Archery, the culture, the development, the Art of War. Simply everything. And not just through Wikipedia but with the help of a lot of books. I was mesmerized by the Recurve Bow I was holding in hands shooting arrows with and I think it is the ONE I’m going to buy for myself.
How do you work on your bucket list? Making any progress – coming any closer to fulfilling your hopes and dreams and wishes?
P.S.: PowerSong of the Day equals the ThemeSong of today’s blog entry.
Saint Lu – Don’t Miss Your Own Life
[Album: Saint Lu]
A raspy rock voice, a lot of heart, a lot of soul! Amazing singer, amazing woman.
“Don’t miss your own life
Haven’t you heard,
Problems will grow by the care that you’re giving them
Don’t miss your own life
Haven’t you learned,
Stop feeding fits of despair, you’ll catch up again“
‘Then I had a thought… Maybe I didn’t break him [Big], maybe the problem was he couldn’t break me. Maybe some women/men aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.’
[Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City; Season 2; Episode 18: Ex and the City]
And there, sitting on my chaise longue, being on my 8th day of my 28 Days of Sugar Cleansing, watching numerous episodes of Carrie struggling with love and life and money problems while after episode 18 of season 2 it hits me and I have a thought. Maybe she is right – Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe some people (like me or, maybe even you?!) shouldn’t really try to be in a relationship with people who either can’t handle them, can’t seem to try or, who give up because it turns out to be too complicated and settle for something; someone more steady, simpler, less complicated.
Maybe there is someone out there who suddenly appears who will not stop to tame me (or you) but who will make an effort to keep up, because he wants to. Because he wants to run with me (or you). Because he is as wild and untamable as me (or you). Or, maybe one day we stand in front of each other after running and running and running together, deciding that it is finally time to calm down – not taming but soothing each other. Maybe one day the running is over and you can lean back to relax in the arms of someone who was there by your side – all along the wild way.
P.S.: Best Song of the Episode:
Barbra Streisand – The Way We Were
[Album: The Way We Were]