Mr.StrictlyIntimate

the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

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Gossip Girl Revealed!


Gossip Girl Logo

“And who am I? That’s a secret I’ll never tell… You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.”

Hello, my Upper East Siders! Mr.StrictlyIntimate here.

I guess you have all seen, or heard it? How do you feel now that the best kept secret of television history is out? Are you shocked? Dazzled? Confused? Or simply speechless by the turn of events and this tremendous revelation? Let me tell you I was just angry with myself that I did not get it the first minute because I was totally hoping Lily (played by Kelly Rutherford, a mundane, elegant and gracious woman!) would turn out to be the Tell-All-Bitch helping her daughter Serena (played by sparkling Blake Lively) to stay in public to never being able turning her back on being a van der Woodsen but hey, sometimes even Mr.StrictlyIntimate can get things wrong. Hard to believe, isn’t it?

“What’s the difference between gossip and scandal? So glad you asked. Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day’s worth of buzz, but in order for gossip to birth a true scandal it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Take one ‘it’ girl on a pedestal, add a crowd eager to see her fall, and give them the means to knock her down.”
(Season 1)

It’s out there, now. Dan Humphrey, or as we all love to call him (as well as he himself obviously did) Lonely Boy, is Gossip Girl. Who would have thought? After 5 Years, 6 Seasons and 121 Episodes Kristen Bell got kicked to the curve by being offered a guest appearance while her voice has been the cornerstone of our personal Gossip Girls ups and downs, just to make some space for Penn Badgley alias Lonely Boy to take the spotlight away from her. Poor K — they say, ‘There are no small parts, just small actors.”

“And some masks we wear because we hope to stay hidden. But that’s the problem with wearing masks. They can be ripped off at any moment.”
(Season 5)

After seeing Monday’s final episode of my most beloved series I was feeling bittersweet. Not particularly sad because, you know “sad” is just not what I do. I have not outfit that goes with “sad” and “pitiful.” But still, I felt a little heartbroken that I can never again be in pure amazement about Blair Waldorf’s (played by amazingly wonderful Leighton Meester) hilarious wit, cruel intentions and fabulous fashion! At least, in the end Blair got to marry of her life Mister Chuck Bass (played by handsomely sexy Ed Westwick) in one of the most beautiful gowns by Elie Saab, a designer I cherish for his classic and elegant approach on the fashion of a modern woman who is aware and conscious of her body and wants to feel beautiful at any given point of time.

Blair Waldorf's Wedding Gown by Elie Saab

Blair Waldorf’s Wedding Gown by Elie Saab

Other happenings in Questions:
Wasn’t it hilarious how Ivy for the first time realized that good old William was playing her to get to Lily?
Isn’t Blair’s and Chuck’s son simply adorable?
Doesn’t Georgina Sparks look as striking and evil as never before?
Doesn’t Dan Humphrey somehow look like he should seriously consider taking on showering again?
Wouldn’t it have been awesome if Lily van der Woodsen was Gossip Girl?
Wouldn’t it have been awesome if charmingly funny Dorota was Gossip Girl?
Didn’t we all think “well, that was kind of predictable” as Serena and Dan were about to get married at the end of the episode?
Wasn’t it pretty nice and neat how they managed to include every once important cast member in the story’s arch for this final bashing 40 minutes?

“In Manhattan, some parties are VIP only. Others are strictly private. But some parties are political, and those lines are drawn by the most established of the establishment. And once those lines are drawn, they can never be crossed.”
(Season 3)

gossip girl season 6

Don’t we all now feel like, “Damn, it’s really over, isn’t it?”

Well, my dear Upper East Siders, it really is. It was such a wonderful time watching those characters grow and develop, some more, some less, some almost not at all. Still, my Gossip Girl years were, besides Sex and the City and now Pretty Little Liars (the only thing I can still keep on holding on to) and Revenge, one of the best of my few hours spent in front of the television. This is all gone now, but hey, I got all the season on DVD and I can’t wait to get the sixth as well. This is a bittersweet farewell so I thought to ease the heartache here are some of Gossip Girl’s (or Dan’s) best quotes:

“Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head and remind yourself of who you are. And where you wanna be. And sometimes you have to venture outside your world in order to find yourself.”
(Season 1)

“But the worst thing the truth can do? Is when you finally tell it, it doesn’t set you free… but locks you away, forever.”
(Season 1)

“In life, as in art, some endings are bittersweet. Especially when it comes to love. Sometimes fate throws two lovers together only to rip them apart. Sometimes the hero finally makes the right choice but the timing is all wrong. And, as they say, timing is everything.”
(Season 2)

“One thing about being on the top of the world.. it gives you a long, long way to fall.”
(Season 2)

“We make our own fortunes, and call them fate. And what better excuse to choose a path than to insist it’s our destiny? But at the end of the day, we all have to live with our choices … no matter who’s looking over our shoulder.”
(Season 3)

“When you do finally get what you want, the problem is there’s always someone that’s trying to take it away. And all that wanting makes us blind to the fact that things aren’t exactly what we think they are. Maybe it’s better sometimes to just get what you need.”
(Season 4)

“Sticks and stones may just break bones, but the wounds from words never heal. Especially when they’re words we hoped we’d never read.”
(Season 5)

“They say every road comes to an end, but sometimes the end feels just like the beginning. Even when you think you’ve come a long way, you can suddenly find yourself right back where you started. Because every journey is fraught with twists and turns.”
(Season 5)

What a ride those 5 years, 6 seasons and 121 episode were. Joyful. Tearful. Wonderful. Playful. Full of incredible fashion moments.
They say, “everything must come to an end” and they are quite right. This is the end of an era. This was the final episode, THE END, of Gossip Girl. This is Good-Bye to the most fashionable gang in television history.

Now it is all about guessing who the hell A is because Gossip Girl was revealed.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Mr.StrictlyIntimate Meets…


…Playmate November 2012 – Clivia Treidl

Clivia Treidl Playboy November 2012

Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012

I always try to re-invent myself in a lot of ways. For my blog that means a variety in content and of course, sometimes even with the layout. For a couple of weeks now I am studying Journalism for a Master’s degree and I have come to the task of doing an interview. This time it wasn’t like the 5 minutes 2 questions interview with Nelly Furtado I did about 2 months ago in Berlin and loved like hell. This time it was more elaborate. It had to be. I thought about whom to interview and so many interesting people came to my mind. I did a variety of interviews and have decided to show them all here – for you to read and for you to reach.

I’ve spent hours preparing questions and hours trying to figure out who Clivia Treidl (25 – studying Media Studies) might be as a person; as a woman; as a model and as a playmate.

Date: October 28th, 20012
Time: 10.00 am
Location: Starbucks, 1st district Vienna, Austria
Drink: Clivia is having a soy cappuccino; I am having an espresso doppio and earl grey tea.

Mr.StrictlyIntimate: What does the name ‘Clivia Treidl’ represent? Please, describe yourself in three words – professionally as well as in private.

Clivia Treidl: Professionally… Clivia Treidl. Mhm… I would say ambitious, determined and patient. In private: a little bit chaotic, sensitive and a good friend.

Mr_SI: Apart from modeling, do you work besides studying? Can one survive from modeling in Austria?

C_T: By now I am just doing model and hostess jobs. Back then I also did some waitressing and other jobs. Like internships in PR and things like that. But at the moment I am only taking on model jobs and hostess jobs. That works out all right currently.

Mr_SI: Did you always know that you wanted to be a model? Or, did this idea come to mind during your time studying in Vienna?

C_T: To be honest, it was never my plan to become a model. If you are 5’5″ you do not think about such a career path. It just happened and the moment I saw the first pictures of me I thought, ‘Well, maybe this could work out.’ But I do not feel a pressure about it – either it works or it doesn’t.

Mr_SI: One of the most important questions that came to my mind is, how does a model who has worked in exclusively in fashion before actually become a Playboy girl?

C_T: Personally, I have always preferred the revealing shoots. I have never been completely naked in a shoot before but I have always felt like drowning in clothes in a lot of shoots. In the fashion industry it is not very welcome to be nude in shoots – except if it is for VOGUE.

Every now and then, when being at castings you get to meet someone who has been in Playboy once and well, you get to talk and you just pop the question. Girls really do send pictures to Playboy and so did I. The next day I got a call. One thing led to another and I found myself at a casting and two years later I am Miss November 2012.

Clivia Treidl Playboy November 2012

Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012

Mr_SI: I can hear the ambition in your words…

C_T: Exactly. I was just curious. During the casting process I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to do it – to actually take of my clothes for Playboy. I just wanted to test my chances and check on how far I’d come. Then, when they chose me the actual deliberations started.

Mr_SI: I assume it was an ‘Ego-Thing’ – How far do come? How do others see me? Do others see me the way I see myself?

C_T: Yes, the whole model industry is basically about the Ego. Maybe it dissolves with time but in the beginning it definitely has a lot to do with Ego. Not with those rare girls who are discovered on the streets, that’s definitely something else. But with those deciding on becoming a model it most certainly has something to do with Ego: Am I good enough? Do I look good enough?

Mr_SI: Would you describe yourself as someone utterly satisfied and happy with their reflection in the mirror, knowing that the one person looking back at you is someone you can smile at saying, ‘Yes, that’s me and that’s great.?’

C_T: By now, yes, absolutely. But that hasn’t always been the case. I have always been rather the shy, precarious person between two extremes: One day, perfectly self-confident and happy. The next day, completely unsatisfied and unhappy and so not at peace with myself.

There were times when I thought that changing parts of my body to fit my own imagination of what’s ideal would be the solution. Just to look the part. Obviously, I have had something done. One can see that my breast are not real and I have often been criticized for that.

Mr_SI: Would you say your breasts have been a hindrance for Playboy?

C_T: They were more of a hinderance than they were of help.

Mr_SI: Why do you think that having fake breasts was a problem for Playboy? What kind of image does Playboy want to develop with the women they feature?

C_T: The concept I see, as a student of media studies is the image of the beautiful neighbor. The girl, or woman who is reachable to any kind of guy rather than the diva who is distanced and not approachable.

Mr_SI: Do you like the pictures that have been chosen for the magazine?

C_T: I have to say that I am very, very happy with the selections. For the magazine they most certainly have picked the best pictures available and I couldn’t be happier about the results. They illustrated me the way I wanted to show myself – sensual, natural, surrounded by bright colors, not too provocative. Just beautiful.

Clivia Treidl Playboy November 2012 I

Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012

Mr_SI: How was the shooting behind the scenes? Where did they shoot you? Did it take you a long time to prepare – not just physically but also mentally?

C_T: The shoot was at Mallorca. In a beautiful house. The team was amazing. We did the shoot by day – very relaxed and without pressure to get more and more pictures done. And in the evening we went out for dinner together. It really took of the edge.
The two months before the shooting I was very nervous. I told myself that I would be at my best possible physique and that I would be fit as never before. In fact I was so nervous that I ate more than usual and I haven’t been at the peek of a model’s physique but as you can see in the pictures it helped me to underline my own femininity. WITH those few extra pounds.

Mr_SI: How did you experience the moment of realizing, ‘Okay, I am taking of my clothes now and in a couple of months thousands of people can see me fully nude?’

C_T: I actually never had such a moment. In fact, during the whole shoot I was desperately waiting for that one moment when the whole situation would become ridiculously unpleasant and weird to me. But it never did. The team was awesome and I felt really great about myself. I think it would have been weird for me if the pictures wouldn’t have turned out to be that great. THAT would have been unpleasant, knowing that there would be thousands of issues of Playboy magazine with pictures of an uncomfortable and unhappy me in them.

Mr_SI: My final question – seeing you in the pictures one could describe you as a ‘Femme Fatale.’ Would you yourself say that you are a Femme Fatale in private? Or rather a shy, calm, not tantalizing woman?

C_T: Mhmm… I guess I have both of these sides in my personality. I like Femme Fatale – that’s a good description because it is exactly the opposite of who I was way back when I wasn’t a model. Rather a shy plain Jane.
But by now I have overcome this shyness and especially when going out like to be consciously sexy and a little bit provocative from time to time. Still, I have a lot of the shy girl in me. But from time to time I like to be a Femme Fatale.

Playboy Cover November 2012

Wolfgang Zajc for Playboy 11/2012

The latest issue of Playboy Magazine featuring Clivia Treidl will be available until the middle of November.
More pictures of Clivia Treidl, Playmate November 2012 can be found on www.playboy.de.

To me it was an amazing start into a wonderfully productive Sunday, sitting together with Clivia talking on and off topic about everything that has been going on in our lives since we last saw each other about two years ago. She is a very relaxed, wonderfully funny and beautiful woman. This interview couldn’t have been any easier and more fun than this.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Vienna: the Fashion City. Fail.


Currently when I am in public wandering round the streets or being on the way to a meeting or a dinner I find myself being observed by people crossing my way in a very strange manner. The minute people look at me the weird way they do I am wondering if there is something wrong with my face or my outfit and then the next second I find myself realizing I am still in Vienna and we all know – Vienna is in no way ‘Fashion Forward’ even though a lot of Austrian designers, some of which are bad, some of which are extraordinarily good, some of which are truly irrelevant; and fashion bloggers who find themselves being so incredibly important in this fucked up country, try to turn it around by saying ‘Vienna is on the way to becoming a fashion city.’

There I find myself saying, ‘NO. It definitely isn’t!’ Just because a city has stores like Prada, Louis Vuitton, Burberry and Giorgio Armani, it doesn’t become fashionably. Having shops like that is called economy. Just because a city all of a sudden has the idea of hosting its own fashion week, it doesn’t become a fashion metropolis. If you have ever visited the Vienna Fashion Week you’ll realize that it’s called embarrassing. Embarrassing because all of a sudden all bloggers become fashion bloggers just because they post pictures of their stupid outfits because they don’t have anything important to say.
Embarrassing because all these bloggers suddenly become journalists and demand accreditation because they are so important.
Embarrassing because Vienna’s elite of Z-list celebrities all of a sudden decide they are oh so A-list that they have to be photographed at the VFW just because they will then be in shiny magazines where everyone can see their fabulousness.

None of these people really have an understanding for fashion or a sense for style. Fashion and its history always vanishes at celebrations like these in Vienna – just to make space for people who are full of themselves showing off what they do not have — class, style and elegance. That is the main problem of Vienna’s society and the reason it will never turn to a fashion city, fashion metropolis or capital of fashion. Because people here just do not have class. They do not have an understanding for the changes fashion has been through and its history. Fashion is far more than going to a store being able to purchase a €3.400 Burberry trench coat. It is far more than going to Zara and getting yourself an outfit you can post about the next day. Fashion is knowledge. Knowledge of its dimensions — its reach, its history, its global impacts, its designers, its collaborations, its cultural impacts, its influences, its politics, its development.

To me it is rather ridiculous to post an outfit on one’s blog calling themselves journalists or fashion bloggers because there is nothing connected to the meaning and understanding of ‘fashion’ at all. All there really is, is lack of attention that needs to be compensated. And that is what Vienna’s Z-listers and ‘fashion’ bloggers who only post about their outfits really do for a living.

To be continued…
(…because I have a lot more to add!)

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

P.S.: I know the way I wrote this is very open and yes I do know that a lot of people may be personally attacked with this but that is what I intended to do. Since no one seems to be honest anymore it is about time someone is. And that one seems to be me. I very well know that I am not perfect and that I still have a lot to learn fashion wise but I honestly dare to say I know way more about fashion, its history, its impacts and influences than those wannabe fashionistas.

Friday Night Lights


Friday Night Lights

I think people need obsessions. I sincerely do. I don’t think people need obsessions in an OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) manner but in a way to make themselves fall in love with something. A dream, a book, a song, a TV-Show, a movie, a person (not in a stalker-ish way but in a relaxed, ‘I don’t think I want to spend the rest of my life without you’-sort of attitude). Since the latter seems to be out of the picture for myself (at least just for the moment, hopefully) I have decided to go back to an old manner of obsessions. A new old one.

Friday Night Lights Season 1 Poster

There was once a TV-Show, an American sports drama television series, to be more precise, starring Kyle Chandler, Connie Britton and (the fabulously handsome and beautiful) Scott Porter, who unfortunately decided to leave the show after season three. Nevertheless, Friday Night Lights is one of the most amazing drama series ever shown on TV and although the critics were very anticipated about the show praising it for its authenticity and acting, it unfortunately never obtained a sizeable audience. But, in all its glory the show was, because of its many awards (Peabody Award, Humanitas Prize, Primetime Emmy Award, etc.) and nominations, and the support of a strong fan-base, on air for five seasons consisting of a total of 76 episodes.

So, obviously this is my new (old) obsession – a TV Show that is off the air since February 9th, 2011 but couldn’t be kept out of my heart and mine. Most people do not know that I love football and that I ALWAYS stay up for the Superbowl even though I have to get up in the morning for work. It just is the greatest sport. Most people also don’t think I am a sports kind of guy even though I love to watch a great of sports but just particular ones like Football, Archery, Swimming and Basketball.

Enough of myself, back to topic: this series is, as stated before one of the most wonderful, powerful shows ever shown on TV. Not just because of its authentic view on life at a public high school or the pressure of adolescence and future plans but also the fact of the unbelievably well developed characters, their emotional depth and their great acting. To me, this is one of the gems of television history and I am going to relive it episode for episode. (And yes, I will admit, there will be a little bit of drooling involved every time I’ll see Scott Porter portraying Jason Street but hey, I am just a gay human being. But, between you and me – this is more than just a crush for I happen to think that Scott Porter is an amazingly talented actor whom I love watching on Hart of Dixie. Can’t wait for season 2 to start!)

So, if you’ve got some time either decide to get obsessed about this wonderful series or find yourself something to obsess about but please don’t stalk someone or get obsessed with murder, OK? Just some harmless little bit of obsessive fun.

Take Care,

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Chapters.


It’s Monday – the first day of a new week and the new chance of starting all over again. And since Sunday also marked the start of a new month I’d say we have a lot of chances to start something new and to finish with old stuff. Stuff we dragged behind us; stuff we know we should have finished ages ago and stuff we tried to keep off or minds but that kept appearing over and over again.

Right now my best friend K is sitting right beside me. She lives with me until Wednesday because that will be the day when she leaves Vienna to go back to her home country. For her, it is time to start a new chapter and so there will be three new chapters in both our lives – a new chapter for her, a new chapter for myself and a new chapter we share full of adventures we live through together even though we will live miles and miles apart from now on.

friendship

But I won’t be too sad about it or dramatic or heartbroken or will say good-bye for one time because we will see each other again as often as possible and our friendship will remain as intense and important as it has been before. Boarders should never stop people to be friends.

So – for us there will never be a final sentence, or a final page, or a final chapter. For us, there will always be a new day to meet life with an open mind and an adventurous attitude.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Bit by Bit [Part III]


Update of:
On the Hunt (for the Perfect Apartment) [Part I]
Designing a Happy Home [Part II]

Friday, June 8th

I used to think that once I have an inspiring thought everything will just start from there like a bomb – bamm you’ve got the couch them bamm you’ve got the bookshelves and bamm the dining area finishes itself completely. Well, it is not like that. Not at all. But, to be honest – I kind of enjoy it. The whole process of visiting furniture stores checking for a great sofa and matching fauteuils; or a bed where you feel safe and sound; or an open wardrobe to complement your clothes and bags and shoes.

All the looking at stuff and matching of colors and flipping through decor magazines is a part of a process that helps me to get to know myself better and to work on the relationship with myself for I decorate the environment I am building for myself. The person I’ll have to be in a relationship in until the end. Well, sure, if one commits suicide this isn’t that much of a lifetime but since I am not planning on jumping out of a window or in front of a bus I am quite positive that I will live a long life. So you will not get rid of me and my intellectual outpourings.

Saturday, June 9th

I am sitting in my new Apartment. On the floor waiting for a part of my furniture to arrive. I am tired as fuck and I should mention that it is 6.00 am and that I am awake since 5.20 am. My MacBook is on and I am watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [Part I]. Eventually I must have been fallen asleep during the first half an hour being woken up by a heavy doorbell ringing. I gasp and know – it is here. Thank God, it is here and I can start building it up (by myself).

At 10.30 am I am getting thirsty (but I already built up one and a half IKEA armchairs. All by myself. Fantastic isn’t it?) so I go down to the bakery picking up a sandwich and some water.

IKEA Armchair Karlstad

IKEA Armchair Karlstad

10.45 am what the fuck?! I can’t get inside my apartment because the door lock broke. So I call the locksmith. 140 fucking Euros for 5 minutes of his time. Well what a great start into the day. Nonetheless, I am still cheered up by the fact that the walls I am standing in are really mine. My own four walls of blissful fashionability. This will be there place where people come to feel great about themselves. This is going to be the place where I can feel great about myself.

At 11.05 am and 12.15 pm Tomasz and B show up to help me build up the other stuff. So after T and I have finished the Sofa B arrives to help us with the rest of the stuff. Being occupied with the open closet I am building for myself. Like I am my own Mr. Big. After some time thinking I have decided that this Carrie Bradshaw addicted guy better get himself a great closet without waiting for the perfect man to show up building him one. And in the end, I stand in front of the amazing closet knowing that there are no perfect men out there (and I am definitely one of them) but there most certainly is THE perfect wardrobe. And I have it now.

IKEA Sofa Karlstad

IKEA Sofa Karlstad

Sunday, June 10th

This is kind of a relaxing Sunday. I haven’t had a day like this in a long time. Full of writing; flipping through the pages of ELLE, ELLE Decoration and VOGUE; watching ‘Sex and the City’ and packing my books, magazines and fashion Look Books into hundreds of boxes. Right now I have 8 boxes so far. In there? All my issues of VOGUE. Well, not all of them to be honest. There are still a lot more to pack. And then there comes the issues of ELLE and Harpers Bazaar and so on. I am afraid I will never get finished with it.

ELLE Decoration UK June 2012

ELLE Decoration UK June 2012

Right now here I sit in front of my MacBook with the windows open, drinking tea and watching the second season of ‘Sex and the City’ (right now: Season 2; Episode 9: Old Dogs, New Dicks) while thinking about the myths of love and relationships and about the fact that there is something true to what Miranda Hobbes said in an episode of that season earlier on, ‘All we talk about anymore is Big or balls or small dicks. How does it happen that four smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It’s like seventh grade but with bank accounts. What about us? What we think, we feel, we know, Christ!’

I have to agree. (Well, except for the ‘Christ!’ thing – I would have changed that with ‘Gucci!’ or ‘Burberry!’) At some days I really wonder how every relevant topic of discussion always seems to end up with talking about guys. I am fed up with this topic. Maybe it is because I feel like being at a change now that I am moving on with my life by moving out and by being independent and all by myself for the very first time in my life. This is a change I do not want to share with a boyfriend because it is the first thing I have to myself in years.

And I most certainly will cherish that and enjoy it. The whole ride – with all its ups and downs. It doesn’t mean I am lonely just because I am alone. And, to be honest, I am not alone. I am single. Single and Fabulous! (- Exclamation Point!)

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Trails of War [S02E04]


Outfit of the Day: blue Burberry swim pants; trench colored Burberry polo shirt with classic house check collar; black Guess Jeans; black vintage Gucci sunglasses and classic house checked hight-top Burberry sneakers again accompanied by the beige colored bag I bought at the market in Zagreb.

Change of an Outfit for the Evening: black big checked Burberry shirt; trench colored Burberry Trousers; classic bow tie from my childhood (yes, this bow tie really is about 17 years old!) and black shiny Burberry shoes accompanied by my Petar Petrov silk evening jacket and vintage Longchamp bag.

10.00am
Breakfast not at Tiffany’s but on our very own terrace. Since my sister decided to stay awake with three others until 6.30am we were the only one having breakfast together. Thank Burberry she doesn’t need that much of sleep because of sleeping through the days before. After half an hour of eating and enjoying the sun we diced that again the motto of the day has to be: ‘Summer, sun, beach read and Burberry.’ And me in the middle lying there with a perfect tan which seems to be a mixture of shiny red and most beautiful brown.

13.30am
Thoughts by the sea: ‘I sit here with my book on a stone in the middle of the sea. It is so cold that it is quite hard to keep my feet in it longer that a few seconds. Usually I am quite tough but it is relatively hard today. Maybe because I was lying in the sun for about two hours heating up my body. That makes it ten times worse. So I just sit here with my summer read ‘Summer and the City: A Carrie Diaries Novel’ by Candace Bushnell and think about how life could be in New York City and if my dreams of being a famous writer will ever come to life. You never know. I never know. I can’t know. Right now I doubt a lot. I am doubting myself 24 hours a day. I can’t stop it. I can’t stop myself from doubting myself and now I sit here wondering why the hell I am not where I should be at the age of 25. Well, should I be here at the age of 25? Or, who decides where I should be? Are my goals set too high or am I becoming a failure? I am afraid of becoming a failure. Really, really afraid. How can I stop it?’

19.00am
The day was quite calming and relaxing with a bit of lying in the sun, a bit of eating ice, a bit of cooking and a bit of walking through the city of Klenovica discovering a view secrets in a ruined hotel. To be honest, we had to climb over a fence which was quite hard wearing my trench colored Burberry Jeans and my black shiny shoes but I did it anyway because my thirst for adventure was too big to hold back. I was so impressed by the charm and image of the hotel that I have decided to dedicate a bigger entry to this wonderful picture after a bit of research.

While being in this ruined house I was wondering about its history and at the same time about my own history and how it could be compared to some rooms of this historic building. Walking through the rooms, along the narrow spaces that once where from what I imagine it sparkling hall ways I felt as if I somehow belonged there; as if something was touching me. Maybe that is the reason why I feel the necessity of researching more about the history of the building and about what happened to the people inside it. Did they come out alive? Did they die? It is weird but I could almost feel them screaming while running for their lives in the war. And that is what it looks like. Destroyed by war. Clearly. Undeniably. Irrevocably. But I guess I should wait with suspicions and impressions like these until I know way more about the history. It was obvious that the country still had to recover from all the terror going on between the years of 1991 and 1995 and one could feel that there still was a lot going on in dealing with what happened to the country and to the families living in it. Life marked them in a way they can never forget.

8.15pm
R, Speedfreak, Markus and I decided to hide a secret message that I wrote to the four of us. I hid it in a very special and secret place not to be found by anyone else except for ourselves in one year. This message will be a very inspirational thing for me because even if we do not return in one year I know one thing – we were there in Klenovica. Together. And we shared a few days of summer and of our youth where we were free, happy and full of energy. I will relish this special day and this special message that only I know for I wrote it and let no one read it. So it marks me, and accompanies me on my ways to wherever I go knowing that friendship can be found wherever the heart is and wherever people are honest with one another.

10.50pm
Right now I am just covered in a black Guess Jeans and a cashmere Tommy Hilfiger sleeve drinking a glass of white wine while chatting with the guys I came here. Eight other people. 4 Women. 5 Men. Everyone for himself / herself great in a very special way. And of course the three people I shared a house with. There is my sister who is my number one; maybe even my closest friend besides K. Maybe even the only friend whom I will keep for the rest of my life. Maybe even the only one I feel the necessity of, come what may, live and breathe and fight for. Then there is Speedfreak, someone I think of as being truly intelligent and made for something incredibly special but whom still has to find his place in this world. With Speedfreak comes Markus – his boyfriend. One of the kindest, most decent and most modest people I have ever met and for whom I have the greatest respect for being simply honest and down to earth. Three people I had a lot of fun with BUT still I want to say thank you to all eight of them for having the nerve to have me around all the time. I really enjoyed the time with each and every one of you and believe me – you all are great, special and intelligent and I appreciated the time we spent together.

For now, I have to say goodbye because I have to pay my attention to the crowd sitting in this room with me. We have some things to talk about, to discuss and to remember. So farewell, my dear reader and we’ll see each other for the season 2 finale of ‘The Diary of the Traveling Burberry.’

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

P.S.: All pictures taken by Speedfreak.

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