Mr.StrictlyIntimate
the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.Archive for Women
Mr.StrictlyIntimate Meets…
…Playmate November 2012 – Clivia Treidl
Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012
I always try to re-invent myself in a lot of ways. For my blog that means a variety in content and of course, sometimes even with the layout. For a couple of weeks now I am studying Journalism for a Master’s degree and I have come to the task of doing an interview. This time it wasn’t like the 5 minutes 2 questions interview with Nelly Furtado I did about 2 months ago in Berlin and loved like hell. This time it was more elaborate. It had to be. I thought about whom to interview and so many interesting people came to my mind. I did a variety of interviews and have decided to show them all here – for you to read and for you to reach.
I’ve spent hours preparing questions and hours trying to figure out who Clivia Treidl (25 – studying Media Studies) might be as a person; as a woman; as a model and as a playmate.
Date: October 28th, 20012
Time: 10.00 am
Location: Starbucks, 1st district Vienna, Austria
Drink: Clivia is having a soy cappuccino; I am having an espresso doppio and earl grey tea.
Mr.StrictlyIntimate: What does the name ‘Clivia Treidl’ represent? Please, describe yourself in three words – professionally as well as in private.
Clivia Treidl: Professionally… Clivia Treidl. Mhm… I would say ambitious, determined and patient. In private: a little bit chaotic, sensitive and a good friend.
Mr_SI: Apart from modeling, do you work besides studying? Can one survive from modeling in Austria?
C_T: By now I am just doing model and hostess jobs. Back then I also did some waitressing and other jobs. Like internships in PR and things like that. But at the moment I am only taking on model jobs and hostess jobs. That works out all right currently.
Mr_SI: Did you always know that you wanted to be a model? Or, did this idea come to mind during your time studying in Vienna?
C_T: To be honest, it was never my plan to become a model. If you are 5’5″ you do not think about such a career path. It just happened and the moment I saw the first pictures of me I thought, ‘Well, maybe this could work out.’ But I do not feel a pressure about it – either it works or it doesn’t.
Mr_SI: One of the most important questions that came to my mind is, how does a model who has worked in exclusively in fashion before actually become a Playboy girl?
C_T: Personally, I have always preferred the revealing shoots. I have never been completely naked in a shoot before but I have always felt like drowning in clothes in a lot of shoots. In the fashion industry it is not very welcome to be nude in shoots – except if it is for VOGUE.
Every now and then, when being at castings you get to meet someone who has been in Playboy once and well, you get to talk and you just pop the question. Girls really do send pictures to Playboy and so did I. The next day I got a call. One thing led to another and I found myself at a casting and two years later I am Miss November 2012.
Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012
Mr_SI: I can hear the ambition in your words…
C_T: Exactly. I was just curious. During the casting process I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to do it – to actually take of my clothes for Playboy. I just wanted to test my chances and check on how far I’d come. Then, when they chose me the actual deliberations started.
Mr_SI: I assume it was an ‘Ego-Thing’ – How far do come? How do others see me? Do others see me the way I see myself?
C_T: Yes, the whole model industry is basically about the Ego. Maybe it dissolves with time but in the beginning it definitely has a lot to do with Ego. Not with those rare girls who are discovered on the streets, that’s definitely something else. But with those deciding on becoming a model it most certainly has something to do with Ego: Am I good enough? Do I look good enough?
Mr_SI: Would you describe yourself as someone utterly satisfied and happy with their reflection in the mirror, knowing that the one person looking back at you is someone you can smile at saying, ‘Yes, that’s me and that’s great.?’
C_T: By now, yes, absolutely. But that hasn’t always been the case. I have always been rather the shy, precarious person between two extremes: One day, perfectly self-confident and happy. The next day, completely unsatisfied and unhappy and so not at peace with myself.
There were times when I thought that changing parts of my body to fit my own imagination of what’s ideal would be the solution. Just to look the part. Obviously, I have had something done. One can see that my breast are not real and I have often been criticized for that.
Mr_SI: Would you say your breasts have been a hindrance for Playboy?
C_T: They were more of a hinderance than they were of help.
Mr_SI: Why do you think that having fake breasts was a problem for Playboy? What kind of image does Playboy want to develop with the women they feature?
C_T: The concept I see, as a student of media studies is the image of the beautiful neighbor. The girl, or woman who is reachable to any kind of guy rather than the diva who is distanced and not approachable.
Mr_SI: Do you like the pictures that have been chosen for the magazine?
C_T: I have to say that I am very, very happy with the selections. For the magazine they most certainly have picked the best pictures available and I couldn’t be happier about the results. They illustrated me the way I wanted to show myself – sensual, natural, surrounded by bright colors, not too provocative. Just beautiful.
Thomas Fiedler for Playboy 11/2012
Mr_SI: How was the shooting behind the scenes? Where did they shoot you? Did it take you a long time to prepare – not just physically but also mentally?
C_T: The shoot was at Mallorca. In a beautiful house. The team was amazing. We did the shoot by day – very relaxed and without pressure to get more and more pictures done. And in the evening we went out for dinner together. It really took of the edge.
The two months before the shooting I was very nervous. I told myself that I would be at my best possible physique and that I would be fit as never before. In fact I was so nervous that I ate more than usual and I haven’t been at the peek of a model’s physique but as you can see in the pictures it helped me to underline my own femininity. WITH those few extra pounds.
Mr_SI: How did you experience the moment of realizing, ‘Okay, I am taking of my clothes now and in a couple of months thousands of people can see me fully nude?’
C_T: I actually never had such a moment. In fact, during the whole shoot I was desperately waiting for that one moment when the whole situation would become ridiculously unpleasant and weird to me. But it never did. The team was awesome and I felt really great about myself. I think it would have been weird for me if the pictures wouldn’t have turned out to be that great. THAT would have been unpleasant, knowing that there would be thousands of issues of Playboy magazine with pictures of an uncomfortable and unhappy me in them.
Mr_SI: My final question – seeing you in the pictures one could describe you as a ‘Femme Fatale.’ Would you yourself say that you are a Femme Fatale in private? Or rather a shy, calm, not tantalizing woman?
C_T: Mhmm… I guess I have both of these sides in my personality. I like Femme Fatale – that’s a good description because it is exactly the opposite of who I was way back when I wasn’t a model. Rather a shy plain Jane.
But by now I have overcome this shyness and especially when going out like to be consciously sexy and a little bit provocative from time to time. Still, I have a lot of the shy girl in me. But from time to time I like to be a Femme Fatale.
Wolfgang Zajc for Playboy 11/2012
The latest issue of Playboy Magazine featuring Clivia Treidl will be available until the middle of November.
More pictures of Clivia Treidl, Playmate November 2012 can be found on www.playboy.de.
To me it was an amazing start into a wonderfully productive Sunday, sitting together with Clivia talking on and off topic about everything that has been going on in our lives since we last saw each other about two years ago. She is a very relaxed, wonderfully funny and beautiful woman. This interview couldn’t have been any easier and more fun than this.
XOXO
Begin Again.
In the first moment I thought, ‘Well, this must be the reason why people do not want to get hit by a bus…’ At least, I guess it must feel like this. Unexpectedly agonizing; deeply irritating and overwhelmingly weird. And within seconds it’s all gone. All the feelings, all the thoughts, all the deep meanings to something that has been but isn’t there anymore.
It’s been two years now. Plus, minus one week. I can’t remember exactly but I know it was October. The weirdest and most agonizing October I have ever had. I was in a dark place I put myself because I was overly dramatic and overly emotional, which lead me directly to being ridiculously irrationally driven by these emotions of just being dumbed by someone you’ve loved. And today I saw him. In a car right in front of my university building. For the first time since we broke up. He broke up with me. Not we. He.
Here I am now with these two years on my hands and on my Facebook timeline and I became aware of one thing tonight: THIS was crucial for final closure. On my way home from University I have thought a lot about times with W and once I arrived home, entering my own four walls through those double doors I realized – I grew a lot in more ways than I have ever expected of myself. In the first few moments of being at home during the change of my outfit I was thinking about what I was feeling. I couldn’t quite make it out. Was I sad? No. Was I angry? No. Was I grieving? No.
Then there it was. The realization of what I must have been waiting for… for forever. I felt nothing but the satisfaction of the moment of knowing that I really am fine with it. I have moved on and I feel like a better version of myself. Mr.StrictlyIntimate exists for three and a half years now. I have been through so much, emotionally and work relatedly. I have grown to become a skyscraper for the relationship with my ex showed me so many facets of being a human being without the necessity of always having to be perfect but being who you are with everything you are. Every flaw you think you hate but actually, deep within fucking love. Every piece of you that loves life. Every piece of you that burns for something – a passion; as wild as the hottest, sexiest kiss you have ever tasted on your lips. Every piece of a dream you work your ass of for. Every minute of a day you live and breathe and work and love and struggle just because you want to feel alive.
This is it! This is life. And it’s beautiful, immaculate, opulent, fantastic, passionate… it is everything you make it!
If you feel like breaking down because someone recently told you he/she doesn’t love you anymore – so be it! Break down! BUT get your ass back up again because life is A-MAZING! And it begins over and over again. Once you break down, you get back up and try again – harder and better than ever before! Over and over again. Because that is what makes you FEARLESS! That is what makes dreams beautiful: fighting for them with every piece of your heart.
After all, it’s his/her loss, isn’t it?!
XOXO
Just Let Go.
Big boys & girls don’t cry. They forget all their pain, keep their chins and heads up high and, go on with living this life like a fucking fighter. No matter what. Sure, there are times in this life where you sometimes face dead-ends or, when you find yourself somewhere without knowing how the hell you got there and even more how the hell you’re going to get out of there. Or, when you try to move on in your industry but you can’t and you feel like being trapped at the same place, same space and same moment – over and over again.
It is times like these when you just have to loosen up and let it all go. Of Everything. All the thoughts, all the negativity, all the cynicism (believe me – with me there is a lot of negativity and cynicism going on and sometimes it seems to be impossible to just letting it go, but it works. Somehow. If you just try.), all the things that are fucking with your head making you the fabulous mess you are. Sure, all those things make you unbelievably special and you feel like you can’t do anything without them – mostly, not going on without them, moving on without them even for the smallest of steps BUT, believe me, sometimes you just have to LET GO.
I have no clue why the hell I am talking about dead ends now for this day actually had a great start with me taking Mr F out on his Birthday Dinner to Fleming’s Deluxe Hotel Wien-City. Their restaurant is not just a very subtle and sophisticated designed place but also has a lot of calm and relaxed charm to it even though being absolutely posh and high-class. My Buffalo Mozzarella with Tomatoes was amazing but the Steak was just phenomenal and tremendously delicious. Mr F ordered the Asparagus with Ham and Prosciutto accompanied by oil and a self-made hollandaise sauce which according to him was purely perfect. And we all know how hard it is to make perfect Asparagus. Well, okay, honestly I really don’t know but I have heard of it or something.
Even though I feel good and look even better and, even though we had an amazingly funny and great time I felt the need of talking about dead ends. I think I have to be plain honest there now – at the moment I feel like slowly coming close to a dead end where I somehow will not be able to decide where to go to go on. I am quite satisfied at the moment: I like my job, I love my friends and I sometimes even have some time to allow myself a little bit of panic shopping at Burberry. But still something bugs me and something feels terribly wrong moving me closer to a position where I might not be able to find my way out as easy as I let out all those witty and sassy comments that make me who I am to all of you.
You know you love me, allow yourself to finally admit it even though you might be thinking I am a little bit weird. So what. I bet you are as weird as I am, which, by the way might be the exact reason you like reading this blog. You can relate to me AND isn’t there anything better than that? Knowing that somewhere out there – maybe even in a far, far away country there is someone who thinks and acts and talks just the way you do? I find it kind of soothing to know I am not the only guy with a spleen out there.
Sometimes, this thought takes away the feeling of being alone on this goddamn planet. Sometimes it is good to know that you are not alone even though you might be the only one in a room but NO, out there – very close to you or, very far away – are people who feel the exact same thing at the exact same moment. Isn’t that fucking scary and great at the same time?
XOXO
P.S. Yesterday, shortly before going to bed I heard a song on YouTube – a cover of Fergie’s big smash hit ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ (you know the song with a very hunky Milo Ventimiglia playing the male lead in the video) – sung by the Glee Cast and somehow (as very often before) I can’t get it out of my head and it haunts me (in a good way, of course) ever since I got up in the morning to find myself watching two of my most favorite episodes of Sex and the City – ‘I love a Charade (S05E08)’ and, ‘The Post-It Always Sticks Twice (S06E07).’For me, another big hit by the Glee Posse who from the very first episode on sneaked their way into my heart, mind, body and soul and never got out of there. Not for one single moment – not for one single song that I did not like as much as a lot of others.
Born This Way.
I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way, born this way
[Lady GaGa - Born This Way; Album: Born This Way (Deluxe Edition)]
It was finally announced and I just can’t wait! Today I purchased my VIP Ticket to Lady Gaga’s Vienna Concert of ‘The Born This Way Ball Tour’ 2012 on August 18th. I am ready, I am set, I am on the right track – I was born to be there and there goes another big wish on my bucket list – seeing Lady Gaga perform her fantastic, motivating and inspiring songs live.
The VIP Package includes:
Early entrance to the VIP area
After show Party in the VIP area
Separate VIP coat rack for free
Lady Gaga Give Away
Entrance to the VIP area
Welcome Drink
Fingerfood
Beer, Wine, non alcoholic drinks
A local DJ performing after the show
If there is one thing that makes me happy it is seeing Lady Gaga giving her all for the sake of music and the sake of fashion – both domains I am wholeheartedly dedicated to! I am going to marry the night on this wonderfully special day of August and I am already counting the days on my calendar wondering if I can make the time go by faster. Though, I wouldn’t do it – losing days means losing time for picking an outfit and for making myself become my even more fabulous self.
Armani Sketch for Lady Gaga's 'The Born This Way Ball' Tour 2012
Armani Sketch for Lady Gaga's 'The Born This Way Ball' Tour 2012
Armani Sketch for Lady Gaga's 'The Born This Way Ball' Tour 2012
Armani Sketch for Lady Gaga's 'The Born This Way Ball' Tour 2012
Do you guys already have your tickets? If not – hurry up, hurry up and imagine yourself dancing, shaking and singing to the fabulously glorious beats of Lady Gaga.
XOXO
P.S. I am already on my 15th day of my 28 Day Sugar Cleansing and I feel great. About an hour ago I was running to the tracks of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Album (yeah, I dedicated the whole day to her since purchasing the tickets had something very religiously glorious for me) in the heaviest of rains we had this year in Vienna and I just felt one thing – great!
Great, because I am alive and aware of it.
Great, because I can cherish beautiful and sad moments and be inspired by them.
Great, because I feel like I am on a good way – in every possible sense.
Great, because I am born this way. This way I am and I celebrate it!
PowerSong of the Day:
Americano by Lady Gaga [Album: Born This Way (Deluxe Edition)]
Do You Want to Run With Me?
‘Then I had a thought… Maybe I didn’t break him [Big], maybe the problem was he couldn’t break me. Maybe some women/men aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.’
[Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City; Season 2; Episode 18: Ex and the City]
And there, sitting on my chaise longue, being on my 8th day of my 28 Days of Sugar Cleansing, watching numerous episodes of Carrie struggling with love and life and money problems while after episode 18 of season 2 it hits me and I have a thought. Maybe she is right – Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe some people (like me or, maybe even you?!) shouldn’t really try to be in a relationship with people who either can’t handle them, can’t seem to try or, who give up because it turns out to be too complicated and settle for something; someone more steady, simpler, less complicated.
Maybe there is someone out there who suddenly appears who will not stop to tame me (or you) but who will make an effort to keep up, because he wants to. Because he wants to run with me (or you). Because he is as wild and untamable as me (or you). Or, maybe one day we stand in front of each other after running and running and running together, deciding that it is finally time to calm down – not taming but soothing each other. Maybe one day the running is over and you can lean back to relax in the arms of someone who was there by your side – all along the wild way.
XOXO
P.S.: Best Song of the Episode:
Barbra Streisand – The Way We Were
[Album: The Way We Were]
