Archive for Life
Well, I won’t miss my own life. I made a promise to myself years ago that I would do something important with my life. With myself. That I would become someone who wouldn’t just make something count for himself (because that would be quite jealous, to do everything for my own reasons.) but for others too. I try to be a role model to people. Above all, younger people, because it is them who need to be shown / taught that everything you do ought to be done with caution, dignity. I think people care far too less about the fact that a child might be watching every step one takes in public and therefore, we all should act like role models.
In order to not just become someone people can look up to, but become a better me for my own sake I am taking one step at a time to fulfill my bucket list. You may wonder how?
- Do a Sugar Cleansing for 28 days.
Already started on that one. Day 11. And I feel really great about it. Only 17 more days to go and I will reach my goal and feel better with every single day. The great thing about this cleansing is that it makes me dispute with nutrition (my personal and nutrition in general) and even made me start on cooking (who would have thought that day might ever come along?) and one can even eat it. Sure, every now and then I crave for a piece of cake or a cookie but I do neither touch nor eat nor lick it. So, I consider myself to be stronger than I would have expected.
- Get in better shape. Permanently. You know, with sports.
I didn’t just buy the clothes for running I actually started to do it. Running I mean, not just continuing to shop. Today I bet myself with my farthest best – a 2.48 mile / 4 kilometer run in the rain. I call myself a runner now since about two weeks and I feel really good about it. Every time I come back I feel eased and relaxed and as if my whole life starts again.
- The Art of Archery.
Yesterday I had my first lesson and let me tell you one thing – I LOVE IT. And, I will stay practicing the Art of Archery. Not just the physically but also mentally, meaning to read everything related to bows, arrows, the history of Archery, the roots of Archery, the culture, the development, the Art of War. Simply everything. And not just through Wikipedia but with the help of a lot of books. I was mesmerized by the Recurve Bow I was holding in hands shooting arrows with and I think it is the ONE I’m going to buy for myself.
How do you work on your bucket list? Making any progress – coming any closer to fulfilling your hopes and dreams and wishes?
P.S.: PowerSong of the Day equals the ThemeSong of today’s blog entry.
Saint Lu – Don’t Miss Your Own Life
[Album: Saint Lu]
A raspy rock voice, a lot of heart, a lot of soul! Amazing singer, amazing woman.
“Don’t miss your own life
Haven’t you heard,
Problems will grow by the care that you’re giving them
Don’t miss your own life
Haven’t you learned,
Stop feeding fits of despair, you’ll catch up again“
All things bright and glittery and new? Or better stay the same and take the safe bet? What is your choice? Does it make any sense to change who you are in order to become the person you’ve always wanted to be? Or is it insane to reach for some things that might never come true because it would be irrationally stupid to believe in them?
Have you ever thought that maybe the most ridiculous, most insanely believed dreams are those that are worth risking your life or losing something in order to achieve them?
The thing is that I have been taught one thing throughout living this life, to worry. Ever since we grow up, jumping from Junior High School to High School to University we are being taught by our parents and by society that only those who worry and care about their grades and manners and behaviors are those who achieve the most. And I tried and tried to be good. But I simply wasn’t. I failed. And I failed again. And then one day I was fed up and stopped trying. And it worked out. All of a sudden. All out of thin air my grades became what I always wanted them to be. I listened to what my teachers had to say and I did not feel the necessity to study 24/7 because I understood that even if I try hard and study hard I need to have a balance. I needed to make sure that there was (and still is) an equilibrium between being a good student and having a life that I can enjoy to its fullest.
No one than yourself can decide what is good for you. If you understand the concept of visiting school every single day and making your A-Level and either going to University or working, you are the one who has to make the decision! You are the only one who can choose what is good for you. What is worth living for. Dreaming for. Working for. Hoping for. Even if you fail – it is up to you to get back up again, back on track and show all the bastards that made you doubt in yourself and your talents what you are made of!
That is the joy of being young! Living this life the way you want to. Taking it and turning it into your own TV-Show. Your own blockbuster Movie!
Where is the sense in being young if you do not enjoy what you have. A life worth living. Take the drama and get along with it. Be inspired by all the sadness and turn it into something amazing. If there was one thing I have learned from all the bad and all the sad and all those dramatic experiences that felt like a shadow heavy on my heart it was to draw from them, gaining strength from them, developing my own character further to become what I am now.
Stronger. Self-confident. Proud of what and who I am. Still doubting myself sometimes, of course but how can you grow and develop your character further without doubting in order to start working on something? If you don’t like yourself start working on that and NOT on finding someone to be in a relationship with just to burry all the discontent with yourself.
As I said before, and as I will say many more times – you are the one person you’ll have to get along with for the rest of your life. So why hating yourself, taking this life way too seriously instead of being proud of who you are, loving yourself, learning to appreciate everything you see when looking into a mirror and having fun every single day of your life!
Why being sad if you can be happy instead? Why being depressed about something longer than necessary if you might as well could take the anger and pain and turn it into something amazing?
P.S.: If you doubt – play this video, get the fuck up and dance, dance, dance!
Recently I had the chance to think about Sex and the City a little bit more since I sometimes find myself taking forty minutes for a break from work every day to watch an episode and to get inspired by it. And since I went for a little walk yesterday at 10 pm and met up with a very very nice man I got to talk about Carrie and her messages and certain Sex and the City moments that still remain in our memory. Deciding that we both love the moment where Carrie and Aidan face each other and she begs him dearly to forgive him: ‘you have to forgive me. you have to forgive me. your have to forgive me. You – have – to – forgive – me!’ and seriously Aidan you simply had to because that moment was so real, so heartbreakingly honest and just so touching that one automatically remembers a moment where he had to beg, had to cry so dearly… you suddenly are being taken back to that certain moment where it all comes to an end with someone you truly fell in love with and even though there may have not been so much time spent together (for some reason people only seem to ask about the amount of time being in a relationship and not about the intensity of the love that holds the two of you together) you just feel the necessity of begging either for forgiveness or for not being left alone or for simply not walking away.
And so here I face myself and my inner demons and my heart and my mind and they finally decided to work together for a higher cause – preventing my heart from finally breaking and splitting and falling apart into thousands and millions of pieces that just can’t be mend by a weekend of liquor and months of draining your sorrows in writing or drinking or working or partying with your friends (or all at the same time) just to get over that vulnerable moment. Is there really a chance of being happily in love without feeling like losing something and then, what if you lose that special something (or someone) you had – it is breaking down, crying, falling apart all over again. Is that how life and love are supposed to live together? In my opinion that is not even the slightest bit close to a healthy symbiosis but to a way to ruin your inner piece by simply allowing someone else to touch you, to hurt you by presenting the most vulnerable of all parts of yourself – your heart. The thing that beats in your chest trying to keep you alive every single day – the one organ that tries to make you happy. And then you walk around breaking it just because you feel the need of falling in love in order to not being alone anymore? Does that makes sense to you?
To me it actually doesn’t and yet I face thousands of people still believing in love because they ask themselves – if love is not out there, if the one (THE ONE) is not out there, then what to live for? What to struggle for? What to aim for? What to look forward to? Settling down for something over an agreement – is that commitment. Real commitment in a sense Carrie and Mr. Big faced it or Charlotte and her Harry faced it or Miranda and her Steve faced it or even Samantha and her healthy libido faced it? Is something like that – the romantic, over produced, overrated love available in real life? Off screen and off screenplay?
Since yesterday and today have been two completely rainy and misty days I have come to terms with myself to think about what it actually is that makes me so cool, calm and relaxed every time the rain is pouring down on me. There are obviously many signs telling people around me that I truly love rain. Above all I believe everyone should see the fashionable sides of a rainy day or a rainy day wardrobe – you can put it either way:
Reason One: Of course, number one is Fashion (with a capital F!) – it will always be FASHION!
There is nothing as fashionable (though actually a completely basic thing in everyone’s wardrobe) as a classic trench coat (whether it is beige or black colored doesn’t actually matter though I believe that a beige is something like an absolute necessity) on a rainy day. Men wearing their daily black suits to work (well the men I would wish to know, at least) and adding to this quite one dimensional but absolutely understandable working outfit, a classic beige trench coat. Most men obviously don’t do this for fashion reasons though there are definitely some hidden motives of looking good and preppy and impressive in every men wearing a suit (actually that is a reason why suits are so sexy – the dominance, the success, the power – everything they radiate makes us want to take it off their bodies so they can dedicate their everything to us…) and a coat like this.
For me: I wore a classic light blue button down Diesel Shirt; a red tie; a green, blue and red checked Sweater with a v-neck; classic blue 519 Levi’s slim fit Jeans; a black Armani belt; black Dominici shoes and a classic but absolutely radiant and beautiful beige trench coat (designed and made by myself – I have to some clapping on my own shoulder here for this piece of fashion is truly something I am absolutely proud of!). The whole outfit was finished with a big croc leather bag (not a real croc but a real H&M) and my MacBook case. Ta-da. Preppy, elegant and petty (literally a petty sweater!).
Reason Two: the Atmosphere just makes me want to embrace this world!
There is nothing more beautiful than the atmosphere and the environment, when it is raining, either heavily or just in a drizzling way. Just like I told a really nice someone today… it has something magical when it is raining. I was sitting at the office on the 17th floor looking over the beautify 22nd district of Vienna (though I am more the city type of guy it is quite cool here sometimes – all the water, the green and the green and the green… oh gosh I am so happy there are no cows here. Cows really freak me out.) listening to ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay observing the rainy environment and the rainy air. If you would have taken one look out of the window you would have seen what I love so much – people running around with their umbrellas in different sizes, colors and shapes; cars making their ‘woooosh’ sound as they drive through the many puddles on the street; the mist that surround all the skyscrapers making them appear far far away even they are usually as close as two people before they are leaning in to give each other a kiss of love and adoration, the water in its restless character melting with the raindrops incorporating them into its system; the calm silent wind that forces some raindrops to break out of their massive army dropping on windows and building fronts and cars and metros. There is so much romanticism in what is happening as one single rain drop falls down from a cloud until it finds its bitter sweet end in the infinity of the streets, of life, as we all know it.
Reason Three: Just look out of your window and see the beauty of this world!
It doesn’t matter if the sun is shining or the rain falling down on us or if the winter sugars the world a little bit with a beauty and fashionable white… it is what it is. Life. And damn isn’t it beautiful how the weather changes, how people change, how a new day is coming every day after the night fades and how every night can be the best of our lives if we let it?! Do you know what I mean? Rain is life, like rays of sun, like the falling of snow, like the silence of the night or the noise of the day! And that is what I simply love!
It is great to be alive and to try doing everything to make your dreams come true and I know one day I will be a writer working for Vogue. I just know. I just have to. What do you dream of?
P.S. I still hate couples always touching and kissing and holding everywhere they are – I can’t even drink my fucking Starbucks without 16 (I counted!) couples walking in without any self control almost fucking on the floor. Come on! Life is not a porn show until you have reached your flat where you can do whatever you want to! Just don’t do it in front of my poor sensitive eyes.