Mr.StrictlyIntimate
the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.Archive for sex and the city
One Step Closer to Reflecting Myself [Part IV]
Autumn is slowly coming and gently asking us to enter our hearts and closets and homes. Though being gentle in announcing oneself it rather intrudes us in a way we actually don’t want it to for we crave summer, sun and heat. But still, autumn is coming and so I think, ‘Embrace change. Embrace the chance to get yourself all dressed up in a new wardrobe, a new mood, a new interpretation of who you are. AND, embrace the wake up call to finally get your apartment done and ready for a colder season to follow, winter.’
Elle Decoration UK – October 2012 Cover
So after three phases and a short break I finally arrived in number IV: One Step Closer to Reflecting Myself
Phase I: On the Hunt (for the Perfect Apartment) [Part I]
Phase II: Designing a Happy Home [Part II]
Phase III: Bit by Bit [Part III]
To me, a home is where the heart is! Ergo: where my heart is there am I. Further ergo: Where I am there should be the real me; my own reflection; my own interpretation of who I am and who I want to be. Not just to myself but to anybody who comes into my private walls as a guest. Therefore, my personal space should be an addition to what I represent. When I enter the room I should feel as if it underlines my personality rather than projecting something that isn’t there, or presenting myself in a light that doesn’t fit the part. It would feel like someone trying to fit into an Alexander McQueen Couture gown though one knows one is completely Atelier Versace; meaning less feathers more sparkle. (Don’t get me wrong here: Alexander McQueen IS a part of my religious belief. Trust me, I worship him and now Sarah Burton for what they’ve created!)
Alexander McQueen Spring/Summer 2013
Alexander McQueen Spring/Summer 2013 Detail
Decorating and furnishing come together to be a process – a long lasting one. Not just a rush of emotions and motions that overwhelm your senses to tell you to simply get it done as soon as you can to get it over with. NO, if you want your apartment to reflect your innermost, your character, your ambitions, your motivations, your style, your fashion, your love and your passion for life; it takes some time to evolve.
That is what I did – I gave myself time to evolve within my new environment. For three months I have my own place now and it feels more like a home to me than anything has ever done. Every single day it comes closer to where I can say my heart is… but it isn’t perfect yet. To be honest, I don’t think it can ever be but at least it can be close to what I want it to be – a place where I can relax once I have entered the double doors; a place I can call home; a place where I can be myself without compromising, without having to apologize, without the necessity of defending flaws. Here I am perfect, if I want to be. If I feel like it.
Autumn calls for action – it calls for inspiration! And so I took my best friend ELLE Decoration out for some last walks in the sun trying to get inspired by what is around me; colors, shapes, shades, street signs, maps, people. I felt like a child in a candy store being surrounded by all those fabulous colors, spirits and voices. With a little help of VOGUE and GQ I always feel perfectly safe when it comes to my fashion choices but with my apartment I still feel like I do not have the grip on what is my style yet. At least not completely. BUT, every time I open ELLE Decoration I feel like I have IT, the one thing that makes me visualize fabrics and shapes, color schemes and patterns in a way I have never imagined before. Fashion isn’t just who or what you wear; it is how you live, how you furnish and how you decorate too!
So, for my bedroom I always felt white, completely – a white bed, a white big open closet, a white standing mirror and a white dresser. I always added color with just my clothes, the bedding and my big purple Prada box. But now I feel like those white walls finally need something new – I feel shapes, well, more like pattern. A mathematical pattern of triangles on two walls in an L-shaped constellation to surround my bed and my door while on the opposite wall only the closet with my beautiful clothes sets the tone. This, to me, sounds like a perfect equilibrium of fast moving, ever changing fashion versus unwinding, calming body and mind.
For the bedroom my eyes is on this triangle patterned wallpaper in Charcoal Grey/Off White called ‘Goldsmith’ by Custhom, £170 per 4m roll, Green and Fay:
ELLE Decoration UK Pattern Book S/S 2012
(picture: ELLE Decoration iPad APP)
For the bedroom as well as my living room I still have to find the perfect fabrics to decorate the windows but I am sure that these ideas will come up in no matter of time since I find myself to be in a very creative mood and a very inspired place right now. So, stay tuned for more and get yourself a little bit inspired by the last summer days until autumn conquers our hearts, wardrobes and homes.
XOXO
P.S.: Inspirational Song of the Day
JEM – Amazing
(as featured on the Motion Picture ‘Sex and the City: the Movie)
Bit by Bit [Part III]
Update of:
On the Hunt (for the Perfect Apartment) [Part I]
Designing a Happy Home [Part II]
Friday, June 8th
I used to think that once I have an inspiring thought everything will just start from there like a bomb – bamm you’ve got the couch them bamm you’ve got the bookshelves and bamm the dining area finishes itself completely. Well, it is not like that. Not at all. But, to be honest – I kind of enjoy it. The whole process of visiting furniture stores checking for a great sofa and matching fauteuils; or a bed where you feel safe and sound; or an open wardrobe to complement your clothes and bags and shoes.
All the looking at stuff and matching of colors and flipping through decor magazines is a part of a process that helps me to get to know myself better and to work on the relationship with myself for I decorate the environment I am building for myself. The person I’ll have to be in a relationship in until the end. Well, sure, if one commits suicide this isn’t that much of a lifetime but since I am not planning on jumping out of a window or in front of a bus I am quite positive that I will live a long life. So you will not get rid of me and my intellectual outpourings.
Saturday, June 9th
I am sitting in my new Apartment. On the floor waiting for a part of my furniture to arrive. I am tired as fuck and I should mention that it is 6.00 am and that I am awake since 5.20 am. My MacBook is on and I am watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [Part I]. Eventually I must have been fallen asleep during the first half an hour being woken up by a heavy doorbell ringing. I gasp and know – it is here. Thank God, it is here and I can start building it up (by myself).
At 10.30 am I am getting thirsty (but I already built up one and a half IKEA armchairs. All by myself. Fantastic isn’t it?) so I go down to the bakery picking up a sandwich and some water.
IKEA Armchair Karlstad
10.45 am what the fuck?! I can’t get inside my apartment because the door lock broke. So I call the locksmith. 140 fucking Euros for 5 minutes of his time. Well what a great start into the day. Nonetheless, I am still cheered up by the fact that the walls I am standing in are really mine. My own four walls of blissful fashionability. This will be there place where people come to feel great about themselves. This is going to be the place where I can feel great about myself.
At 11.05 am and 12.15 pm Tomasz and B show up to help me build up the other stuff. So after T and I have finished the Sofa B arrives to help us with the rest of the stuff. Being occupied with the open closet I am building for myself. Like I am my own Mr. Big. After some time thinking I have decided that this Carrie Bradshaw addicted guy better get himself a great closet without waiting for the perfect man to show up building him one. And in the end, I stand in front of the amazing closet knowing that there are no perfect men out there (and I am definitely one of them) but there most certainly is THE perfect wardrobe. And I have it now.
IKEA Sofa Karlstad
Sunday, June 10th
This is kind of a relaxing Sunday. I haven’t had a day like this in a long time. Full of writing; flipping through the pages of ELLE, ELLE Decoration and VOGUE; watching ‘Sex and the City’ and packing my books, magazines and fashion Look Books into hundreds of boxes. Right now I have 8 boxes so far. In there? All my issues of VOGUE. Well, not all of them to be honest. There are still a lot more to pack. And then there comes the issues of ELLE and Harpers Bazaar and so on. I am afraid I will never get finished with it.
ELLE Decoration UK June 2012
Right now here I sit in front of my MacBook with the windows open, drinking tea and watching the second season of ‘Sex and the City’ (right now: Season 2; Episode 9: Old Dogs, New Dicks) while thinking about the myths of love and relationships and about the fact that there is something true to what Miranda Hobbes said in an episode of that season earlier on, ‘All we talk about anymore is Big or balls or small dicks. How does it happen that four smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It’s like seventh grade but with bank accounts. What about us? What we think, we feel, we know, Christ!’
I have to agree. (Well, except for the ‘Christ!’ thing – I would have changed that with ‘Gucci!’ or ‘Burberry!’) At some days I really wonder how every relevant topic of discussion always seems to end up with talking about guys. I am fed up with this topic. Maybe it is because I feel like being at a change now that I am moving on with my life by moving out and by being independent and all by myself for the very first time in my life. This is a change I do not want to share with a boyfriend because it is the first thing I have to myself in years.
And I most certainly will cherish that and enjoy it. The whole ride – with all its ups and downs. It doesn’t mean I am lonely just because I am alone. And, to be honest, I am not alone. I am single. Single and Fabulous! (- Exclamation Point!)
XOXO
On the Hunt (for the Perfect Apartment) [Part I]
‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ was the first thought coming to my mind when I entered the bedroom of the apartment I was taking a look at today. Okay, let us be clear – the 12th district is definitely not my paradise district but I thought compromising might not just make me a better person but might pay its tribute to my sudden positive attitude. Which, by the way turned back negative the immediate second I saw the living room furniture.
Inspiration #1: Charlotte York’s Apartment
It wouldn’t have been any kind of problem if I would have been allowed to kill all the furniture kicking it out of the apartment and decorating it the way it should have been. I loved the stucco on the ceilings but the table and the sofa and those hideous glass plates in the shelves – how could someone possibly say ‘YES’ to living there without feeling the urgent necessity of throwing everything out. Which I made clear by saying so. The owner obviously didn’t like the idea of me hiring people to throw out all the hideous stuff or, the owner’s wife didn’t like it, is more like it. It was like a storage space for all her hideosities.
Inspiration #2: Charlotte York’s Apartment
The bedroom walls were completely covered in made to measure lockers and one wasn’t even able to see a single centimeter of the walls. I felt a bit claustrophobic to be honest though I usually never have problems with small rooms but this wasn’t just right – it was like living in a cupboard with all the storage possibilities all around and seriously, who, except for Chip the talking teacup from Beauty and the Beast would want that? The kitchen was a ‘made in 1960′ disaster – with the ugliest tapestry I have ever seen in my life. Let me make it clear – a gay guy living in a kitchen with full flower tapestry isn’t a gay guy anymore. It’s a gay guy imploded by his own gayness. Honestly, I would love to keep myself at least a little bit of masculinity.
Inspiration #3: Carrie Bradshaw’s Dressing Room (Sex and the City: the Movie 2)
The moment of realizing that this apartment definitely wasn’t going to be mine was quite hard since I thought that there was a tiny bit of a chance to be moving out of my parents house in early June but well, one can’t always get what one wants the immediate second one wants it. So it is okay with me – another situation that made me grow as an adult a little bit. Now the searching and hunting for a decent apartment goes on and then, once I have found one I can envision myself living in, there will be an ‘On the Hunt’ sequel where everything circles around finding the perfect signature to underline my personality and personal style – classy, elegant, elitist and new age smugness.
If you know a place do not dare to hesitate hooking me up with more details.
XOXO
Inspiration #4: Carrie Bradshaw’s Dining Area (Sex and the City: the Movie 2)
Inspiration #5: Carrie Bradshaw’s Living Area (Sex and the City: the Movie 2)
Just Let Go.
Big boys & girls don’t cry. They forget all their pain, keep their chins and heads up high and, go on with living this life like a fucking fighter. No matter what. Sure, there are times in this life where you sometimes face dead-ends or, when you find yourself somewhere without knowing how the hell you got there and even more how the hell you’re going to get out of there. Or, when you try to move on in your industry but you can’t and you feel like being trapped at the same place, same space and same moment – over and over again.
It is times like these when you just have to loosen up and let it all go. Of Everything. All the thoughts, all the negativity, all the cynicism (believe me – with me there is a lot of negativity and cynicism going on and sometimes it seems to be impossible to just letting it go, but it works. Somehow. If you just try.), all the things that are fucking with your head making you the fabulous mess you are. Sure, all those things make you unbelievably special and you feel like you can’t do anything without them – mostly, not going on without them, moving on without them even for the smallest of steps BUT, believe me, sometimes you just have to LET GO.
I have no clue why the hell I am talking about dead ends now for this day actually had a great start with me taking Mr F out on his Birthday Dinner to Fleming’s Deluxe Hotel Wien-City. Their restaurant is not just a very subtle and sophisticated designed place but also has a lot of calm and relaxed charm to it even though being absolutely posh and high-class. My Buffalo Mozzarella with Tomatoes was amazing but the Steak was just phenomenal and tremendously delicious. Mr F ordered the Asparagus with Ham and Prosciutto accompanied by oil and a self-made hollandaise sauce which according to him was purely perfect. And we all know how hard it is to make perfect Asparagus. Well, okay, honestly I really don’t know but I have heard of it or something.
Even though I feel good and look even better and, even though we had an amazingly funny and great time I felt the need of talking about dead ends. I think I have to be plain honest there now – at the moment I feel like slowly coming close to a dead end where I somehow will not be able to decide where to go to go on. I am quite satisfied at the moment: I like my job, I love my friends and I sometimes even have some time to allow myself a little bit of panic shopping at Burberry. But still something bugs me and something feels terribly wrong moving me closer to a position where I might not be able to find my way out as easy as I let out all those witty and sassy comments that make me who I am to all of you.
You know you love me, allow yourself to finally admit it even though you might be thinking I am a little bit weird. So what. I bet you are as weird as I am, which, by the way might be the exact reason you like reading this blog. You can relate to me AND isn’t there anything better than that? Knowing that somewhere out there – maybe even in a far, far away country there is someone who thinks and acts and talks just the way you do? I find it kind of soothing to know I am not the only guy with a spleen out there.
Sometimes, this thought takes away the feeling of being alone on this goddamn planet. Sometimes it is good to know that you are not alone even though you might be the only one in a room but NO, out there – very close to you or, very far away – are people who feel the exact same thing at the exact same moment. Isn’t that fucking scary and great at the same time?
XOXO
P.S. Yesterday, shortly before going to bed I heard a song on YouTube – a cover of Fergie’s big smash hit ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ (you know the song with a very hunky Milo Ventimiglia playing the male lead in the video) – sung by the Glee Cast and somehow (as very often before) I can’t get it out of my head and it haunts me (in a good way, of course) ever since I got up in the morning to find myself watching two of my most favorite episodes of Sex and the City – ‘I love a Charade (S05E08)’ and, ‘The Post-It Always Sticks Twice (S06E07).’For me, another big hit by the Glee Posse who from the very first episode on sneaked their way into my heart, mind, body and soul and never got out of there. Not for one single moment – not for one single song that I did not like as much as a lot of others.
Do You Want to Run With Me?
‘Then I had a thought… Maybe I didn’t break him [Big], maybe the problem was he couldn’t break me. Maybe some women/men aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.’
[Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City; Season 2; Episode 18: Ex and the City]
And there, sitting on my chaise longue, being on my 8th day of my 28 Days of Sugar Cleansing, watching numerous episodes of Carrie struggling with love and life and money problems while after episode 18 of season 2 it hits me and I have a thought. Maybe she is right – Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe some people (like me or, maybe even you?!) shouldn’t really try to be in a relationship with people who either can’t handle them, can’t seem to try or, who give up because it turns out to be too complicated and settle for something; someone more steady, simpler, less complicated.
Maybe there is someone out there who suddenly appears who will not stop to tame me (or you) but who will make an effort to keep up, because he wants to. Because he wants to run with me (or you). Because he is as wild and untamable as me (or you). Or, maybe one day we stand in front of each other after running and running and running together, deciding that it is finally time to calm down – not taming but soothing each other. Maybe one day the running is over and you can lean back to relax in the arms of someone who was there by your side – all along the wild way.
XOXO
P.S.: Best Song of the Episode:
Barbra Streisand – The Way We Were
[Album: The Way We Were]
