It was a Wednesday evening in May, to be more precisely it was May 6th, when me, Mr.StrictlyIntimate, and my best friend, let us call her Kristen, attended the grand and anticipated opening of a new nightclub in 22nd district, called ‘Club Couture‘, well, and I, as a fashion design student and well-known fan of the Haute Couture, am absolutely in the position to predicate that this club has absolutely not the least bit of any Couture at all, neither in its design nor in its guests.
Actually it can be compared to a convention of rednecks and people who think, that they are very important personalities in Vienna’s club society, although in fact they are nothing more than just some important bunch of people who try to be what they possibly never will be, hip, trendy and cool. Where have all the classy people gone? Except for me and my best friend, about 80 percent of the guests were dressed as if they attended a competition for the most hideous outfit, but before I tell you more about the looks of the people I start right at the beginning of our evening at Club Couture:
10:45 p.m. on Wednesday in May, me and my best friend, as usual perfectly dressed, stand right in front of the entry of Club Couture. Kristen in a strapless black dress with a lilac colored belt and a black clutch bag, and me, in a pair of perfect fitting Levi’s 511 Jeans, a bronze colored chemise with the perfect matching tie and my all-time favorite, a beige colored trench coat, waiting on a red carpet in front of heavy black doors to get inside.
As we walked through the doors, the security guy really had the nerve to ask Kristen for her identification to make sure she was over 18, though she is 21 years old. After a short moment of embarrassment we stepped inside and the first thing we saw was one of the worst of the whole evening. Looking at the floor we saw an unbelievably ugly blue carpet combined to white walls and black-white mixed roof. I guess you can imagine the expression on my face as I noticed that my wonderful Prada shoes have to touch this ugly, disgusting carpet with its white lettering ‘Club Couture’. We both just felt like throwing up, but we ignored it as best as we could and stepped deeper inside the club, ready to find out if the look gets even worse.
Truth be told, it did not get worse. Inside the whole club was seperated into five different areas. Right at the entry, with the ugly blue carpet was the so-called ‘iCocktailbar’, what was supposed to be a kind of chill out area, but well to me it only looked like warehouse, pretty big and empty. Directly in this ‘bar’ was ‘the Snack Lounge’, coming closer to take a look at it, the obtrusive scent of onions and fat came right into my nose and to me it was more than clear that there was nothing else to eat than junk food with over two thousand calories. My cute Kristen and I took a round through the whole club and entered the next area, called ‘the Main Club’, ‘the’ area for those who can only move their bodies to classical, almost vintage touched house tunes or current minimal sounds. It was nice, but that was it. At next we moved over to an area that is kind of a thorn in my side, but the people in there seemed to go with the flow. The music was a mix of the 70’s and the 80’s (what I actually like some times) but mostly they played what we in Austria call Austropop and songs that are actually just played when you are on a skiing trip, nice to sway rhythmically with linked arms, but horrible to listen to. So we pranced on to the last area, ‘the Soul Club’.
Before this club changed to be ‘Club Couture’ it was called the ‘Nachtschicht’ and was actual a quite popular disco in Vienna, but with the years the image got old and worn out and the club had to shut its doors. But, the point I want to take is, that the original ‘Soul Lounge’ in the ‘Nachtschicht’ was three times smaller and not that fashionable as the new ‘Soul Club’.
We stepped inside and saw, with excitement (because we spent some of our High School Years in this club’s area when we still used to call it ‘Nachtschicht’ several years before), that it really was good, except for the black and white colored floor and roof that was mixed with red and white colored furniture and that was not so fashionable, above all because one of the main rules of fashion tells you that you should never mix and match more than two, maximum three, different colors. But apart from that we really liked the look of ‘the Soul Club’. The only thing that did not change was the DJ, but we did not care about that fact because he still made good music so that was pretty ignorable.
After about an hour of dancing and laughing and looking at several people’s horrible outfits we ended up sitting in the V.I.P. area because there were some guys we knew and some friends of mine. Shockingly I saw a girl shaking her ass for the camera and noticed that she was also a girl I knew and went to High School with. Now, that was embarrassing and her shaking ass wasn’t classy at all. I turned away and hoped she would not recognize me.
From the V.I.P. area I was able to observe the people and the whole scenario, even though I did not wear my glasses, I was able to see every fashion faux pas. I do not understand how some of those guys are even able to step outside in public areas in those outfits. First of all, to my mind, leopard patterns are more than out of fashion, and somebody really has to tell them that. Looking like a big cat in a jungle is definitely no fashion trend, but a disaster, above all because most of the girls/women who wear leopard patterns are, how to explain by being nice, just fat or simply overweight, and my eyes cannot cope with over ten chubby cat looking females without getting eye-cancer at once.
Half naked women trying to be seductive but actually just looking cheap, men or boys (when it comes to their brain power) in T-Shirts and sneakers, though the club used it as a flagship that the people have to be classy and elegantly dressed. Well, let us wait one month and the club will be only full of rednecks far beneath the general threshold of discomfort.
At about two a.m. Kristen and I definitely had enough, kissed our friends goodbye and drove homewards, where I changed into sleeping clothes, took of my makeup and got into bed. I typed this notes on my BlackBerry, saved it and found myself in dreams about a man that definitely got me hot, but that’s another story.
Conclusion: No matter in what direction this club will develop its image I will keep you up to date and maybe you visit it by time so you can make up your own mind. I will be the observer and you will be watched, maybe one of you notices me. Let me know and I tell you the whole truth about what goes on behind the hidden doors of Vienna.
Club Couture Gallery