As I lay in bed that night and faced myself with the inability of sleeping I came to think about love and life and the gay community and their relation to the endless journey of finding THE ONE. In my head I go through the register of every gay guy I have met throughout my twenty-two years of living and to my disappointment, there are only about four or five out of maybe thirty that seem to think of relationships and loving the exact way I do.
When I talk to my friends about finding a partner and their partners, or if I talk to a gay couple there is always THE inevitable question that every couple (whether they are man and man, woman and woman or woman and man) has to cope with: How did you happen to know each other? And that is the actual flaw in the Universe’s plan of finding true love, heterosexuals mostly do not necessarily need the Internet to find one another (if they are not as ugly as sin or weight two hundred pounds, of course), but most of the homosexuals I know, happen to know each other through a gay Internet portal.
That makes me wonder one thing: Is the on-line way the only way of getting a date, if you are a gay guy in Vienna?
I’d wish there would be an old-fashioned kind of way of meeting the man of your dreams, or someone at all, just the way heterosexuals do. Seeing each other, flirting, talking to one another, exchanging phone numbers and dating and not writing on the Internet, seeing pictures on-line, wondering if the person on the pictures is really the person behind the screen writing to you, being ask for a pic of your dick (unfortunately a common standard in gay society) and then maybe meeting with the thought in mind of eventually having gay sex. Actually I am of the opinion that this is totally, insanely ridiculous and come on, it is so cliche. That is exactly what everyone believe gay guys to be, promiscuous and only thinking about having sex, and to all the heterosexuals out there, unfortunately about 60 percent of my sort are that way. So, cliche fulfilled.
And all of a sudden one question after another comes to my mind: Why did most of the gay guys give up the thought of finding the one guy that shakes their heart to its core and seem to be happy with acting promiscuously jumping onto the next best guy from around the next best corner? Do gay guys actually care about the reputation of the gay community? And why the hell do gay relationships never seem to be a happily-ever-after thing? Is romanticism between gay guys gone or did it simply not exist that way it has for men and women?
Are people like myself, who actually do believe in finding real love and THE ONE for a life-time relationship, standing out of a crowd because of their old-fashioned dreams and plans for love and life? Does that automatically say that I am going to end up alone because there is almost nobody out there thinking the way I do and hoping that I may be his ‘THE ONE’? Is it hopelessly dreaming a dream of true love when you know that most gay guys are only searching for sex rather than love?
Why is everything seem to happen on-line inside your room when on the outside I am standing in line for getting a prince charming on a white horse?!
Though this questions burn in my head and on my tongue, I just simply cannot give up the thought that out there, there are hundreds of others just like me, participating in a game about true love and the wrong ones, and maybe one day I will walk down the street and somebody might come up my way to ask me for a date out-side instead of on-line.They are out there and when they come out of their shells we do not have to be on-line anymore to find someone that can make our hearts skip beats and let our butterflies fly.
Keep your eyes open, just like me.