Truth be told, love is a mystery I could not solve yet – sometimes it makes you totally, unbelievably and irrationally happy and some other times it makes you desperate and inappropriately acting by driving you crazy as hell or giving you pain as dying.
In these times you wonder why human beings, logically thinking creatures actually love – what is love and who defines love? Are we pointing out a definition for ourselves every rare once in a while we fall in love and we think we really feel it? Or is it something society taught us in our early years – do you, when you come to a certain point in a relationship love automatically because it is appropriate at that point of time?
Is it really our hearts that decide who we love or is it social insecurity and conformity?
When I sit on my desk researching and planning for the next issues, looking at collections, designs and pictures I always come across thinking about one single person and then I wonder…why are we doing that? Why am I doing that? Are we masochists that we surround ourselves with thoughts on people that break/broke your heart or that let you feel deepest pain – even though you should be able to concentrate? Why is HE the only one that is on my mind while it brings me of course not only pain but the un-rockable feeling of wanting to be with him even though you know you can’t or you shouldn’t because it would destroy or kill something you deeply and irrevocably long for?
What is it that makes us believe who we love or who we have to love? What is it that keeps us running for someone to love you unconditionally, irrevocably and head over heels even though you might try to pretend it isn’t necessary to feel that way?! Why do we long for others when we have ourselves to trust, to love and to rely on?
I tell you why – because it is wonderful to have someone telling you how beautiful you look even though you feel looking like being hit by a bus. Because it is the most beautiful thing to fall asleep and wake up beside someone on whose chest you can rest your head and feel at home. Because it makes you feel like conquering the world when this special one puts his arms around you giving you strength and the belief of having faith in you and your talents.
Because it is the most beautiful, most amazing, most innocent, most immaculate, most brilliant, most irrational, most consolidating, most comfortable, most perfect feeling in the world to hear ‘I LOVE YOU’.
That’s a fact as weird, beautiful, happy, sad and irrational you might feel sometimes – just spread these words to someone who won over your heart and you will notice if it doesn’t make you happy it might not be the right kind of love. It might not even be love. But it could and if you never tell you will never find out and always wonder – is it love?