Spotted: K getting back to love, M being introduced to the fashion elite, J looking fabulous and me changing radically but always keeping an eye on fashion
it is kind of traditional for my lazy Sundays I am currently sitting in front of the Screen with an Episode of Gossip Girl, work and a lot of things going on in my mind. The last weekend wasn’t just eventful and entertaining, it was also important for making decisions, planning the future, turning the back on a few things of the past and looking into a new direction…somehow.
Not being in the mood to go out and party a little bit seems kind of passé to me since my last Friday was full of wine, gossip, party and labels – K, M and I started out having an actual Horro Movie Dvd Evening – which ended up in drinking wine, ignoring the movie, talking about bf’s, bff’s and the big X, dressing up in the hottest fashion, running through racks of Louboutin and Valentino shoes, stroking a beautiful Hermès muff, falling in love with an amazing Chloé silk-dress and preventing K from giving away her newly purchased Fendi Tweed Stilettos with a beautiful leather bow. Truth be told – she could not give away those perfect shoes without the sense of indebtedness. After gossiping and talking and hating everyone who was not us we welcomed J – a beautiful, funny girl who had the clear advantage of bringing more alcohol and for being welcome in our hearts by wearing a marvelous cocktail dress with silver shoulder epaulettes. We drank, we put on the final makeup and gave ourselves the final touch (me draping my new XXL Burberry scarf which was a gift from my wonderful K – and it fitted totally perfect to my Burberry tie and my Croco Bag) to go to Club Kinsky – a funny, exclusive and nice furnitured spot in the 4th district.
Pictures show – no one did look as good as we did and as we danced on the floor with people staring at us I have realized that I have changed withing the last weeks of getting my life right and caring about the major and most important things right now – THE JOB, THE FRIENDS, THE LABELS and not so much the love that obviously have to wait until I am ready to get all dressed up in it again. M and I took off at about three deciding to go to Bratislava the next day – well as we woke up in the morning we decided not to go to B but leaving the day to be shopping event by dropping by SCS – big mistake, but huge save for my crashed Gucci Shades, which got easily repaired there…dinner was a catastrophe (well not for me for you can’t simply do anything wrong with a salad and a glass of sparkling water, but M got quite disappointed by his Penne Calamari and decided to go for Pizza after telling the waiter that the dish as a complete disaster) and the people all around us…I just can’t find words for the way they dressed but I simply have to put it in the ‘been there, done that, no need to go back there’ box and and keep it safe forever.
Baby Bash, Baby Boom, Babies everywhere – and you simply can’t get away from them. If we have to co-exist with those little brags why can’t parents just keep them safe at home or in kindergarden to save all out freaking nerves from crying and breast feeding in public spots – hello?! If I would have ever wanted to see a breast – I would have either been straight or studying medicine to become a plastic surgeon facing fake, hard breasts every single day. Well – as the whole day was about facing babies I got the lovely task to attend a baby part in the evening…lucky me.
The only thing, besides not enjoying the disgustingly happy and satisfied people who use to be my oldest friends, I found out something about me, that I did always tried to ignored being true…well at least since the last two years. Love and friendship is all about sharing something – whether its secrets or devotion, fun and laughter, hobbies and time spent and even if you do not get to see each other often (even though you are the best of friends) there still is a connection existing and yesterday I realized…this connection is gone. I have faced myself in the middle of the crowd (fashionably wrapped up in Burberry, of course) and then all by myself in the baby’s room and I have realized that is not what I want yet. All of my friends always smile on me trying everything to become successful in the fashion industry and every time I talk to them about my life and not sleeping but working 24/7 they don’t get me – and the really bad thing is they never try to. As I stood there in the room looking at all the stuff, thinking about people changing and drifting apart I have come to realize that not just I have changed but they to. They are not in the place they saw themselves in four and a half years ago before we all left school to study…now I am the only one finished, having a bachelor, no relationship and a career I am working on while Ml has a baby coming up in a pretty neat house, Js moved in with her guy and becoming a teacher and Ma building a house with her bf not knowing what the future will hold or when her studies will end.
So I stood there and I realized…this is not who I am and that was definitely not what I wanted…not at the age 23…so I turned out the light in the pink baby room…got downstairs said goodbye and went off.
Lives change…people change…careers change…future plans change…even the matter of the heart have to face some changes and while we all develop and grow up we sometimes have to make decisions that are best for us…or sometimes the worst. But even then, we have made the decision to look forward and to seperate from those things and people that keep us down, that do not support us and that never take us seriously.
Chapter III: the saying Goodbye. Closed and done.