What is love? How can you define a irrational term or condition in such a rational society? How do you illustrate something like these simple four letters, L-O-V-E, in a world that is full of words containing three complicated letters like W-A-R or four dreadful letters like H-A-T-E or five irrevocable letters like A-N-G-E-R? How does a feeling like love survive in a society that argues more often than simply accepting one another?
When I got out of bed this morning waiting for the day to fully arrive and hit me like a bus I did not even consider the possibility of something like this happening. The last few days I kind of seemed to be changing back into old habits like checking my reflection every twenty seconds walking past a mirror, a car window or a shopwindow (I actually even caught myself trying to visualize my own reflection in my BlackBerry or my iPhone). The weird thing is, that I felt more relaxed, more myself before some things occurred trying to influence me, but I can’t make up in my mind – I can’t figure out what or who pressed the button of perfectionism again. Not, that I was less of a perfectionist, but I was way more acceptable and tolerant with myself…and it seems like I am back to my same old harshness that harmed my soul ever since it developed out of nothingness.
Nevertheless, the main reason for writing is a fact of, well, let us call it, finding your own way for walking through this life – a way, a lot of people would describe as a hard and long road with a lot of seductive, dark or bad branches. Usually, I would agree pointing out that life is nothing but a cruel road to trying to fulfill your dreams by selling your soul to those that play the strings in a theatre full of masked deceit. But not today. Not after what K and I were allowed to experience today.
Being invited by wonderful Alice to an Evangelical – Korean Church Service we arrived at the church being greeted and welcomed in a way that did not just shake me in its friendliness and easiness but also made me reconsider the structures of what church service really should be like. As we sat there and prayed in the beginning my first two thoughts were ‘God…am I doing this right?’ and ‘will I understand anything they are about to say?!’. Well, my answers came right away and promptly: one – there is no wrong way of praying because just the way everyone applies clothing their own way, everyone has their own way of preaching and two – the preacher (David) really did switch between German and Korean in a velocity I could even forget that there was a Korean word between the terms God and Amen.
The Service today was titled ‘One Way’ and meant to describe the easiness and the severity of following one way into a life that we try so hard to be about success or money or things we earn or things we seem to be to others instead of following a road defined and conducted by its simplicity of love – a term so easy to say but so hard to apply (believe me, been there, tried that, failed so hard!).
I have never – in my entire life – experienced a church service as lively (mixed with singing contemporary songs; young talented Koreans dancing for God; playing instruments in a way Chopin or Beethoven did – and sining with a voice that simply has to be heard one day… there is no other way for that, it simply has to!) and emotionally clarifying as this one. An experience I a) will definitely never forget and b) definitely make again because I promised to go back there!
If there is something that I have learned (apart from the fact that church does not necessarily need to be about Monks singing in unnatural high gregorian voices and priests almost falling asleep while preaching or simply reading what others wrote down for them (allegedly) thousands and thousands of years ago) it is knowing that there are people out there who welcome simply anybody in their inner circle of, well, love with warm-heartedness and a lot of humor. I guess K definitely agrees that we had a good time there and that we love to return again.
Thank you for this invitation dear, beautiful Alice (I had a blast!) and thank you so much for giving us such a wonderfully relaxed time of intimacy with God and he chance to think about ones priorities.
God bless you all, my dear readers.
P.S. Knowledge of the Day: Severity to oneself isn’t just noxious but discouraging from finding the right way to fulfilling dreams and plans and wishes.