Recently I had the chance to think about Sex and the City a little bit more since I sometimes find myself taking forty minutes for a break from work every day to watch an episode and to get inspired by it. And since I went for a little walk yesterday at 10 pm and met up with a very very nice man I got to talk about Carrie and her messages and certain Sex and the City moments that still remain in our memory. Deciding that we both love the moment where Carrie and Aidan face each other and she begs him dearly to forgive him: ‘you have to forgive me. you have to forgive me. your have to forgive me. You – have – to – forgive – me!’ and seriously Aidan you simply had to because that moment was so real, so heartbreakingly honest and just so touching that one automatically remembers a moment where he had to beg, had to cry so dearly… you suddenly are being taken back to that certain moment where it all comes to an end with someone you truly fell in love with and even though there may have not been so much time spent together (for some reason people only seem to ask about the amount of time being in a relationship and not about the intensity of the love that holds the two of you together) you just feel the necessity of begging either for forgiveness or for not being left alone or for simply not walking away.
And so here I face myself and my inner demons and my heart and my mind and they finally decided to work together for a higher cause – preventing my heart from finally breaking and splitting and falling apart into thousands and millions of pieces that just can’t be mend by a weekend of liquor and months of draining your sorrows in writing or drinking or working or partying with your friends (or all at the same time) just to get over that vulnerable moment. Is there really a chance of being happily in love without feeling like losing something and then, what if you lose that special something (or someone) you had – it is breaking down, crying, falling apart all over again. Is that how life and love are supposed to live together? In my opinion that is not even the slightest bit close to a healthy symbiosis but to a way to ruin your inner piece by simply allowing someone else to touch you, to hurt you by presenting the most vulnerable of all parts of yourself – your heart. The thing that beats in your chest trying to keep you alive every single day – the one organ that tries to make you happy. And then you walk around breaking it just because you feel the need of falling in love in order to not being alone anymore? Does that makes sense to you?
To me it actually doesn’t and yet I face thousands of people still believing in love because they ask themselves – if love is not out there, if the one (THE ONE) is not out there, then what to live for? What to struggle for? What to aim for? What to look forward to? Settling down for something over an agreement – is that commitment. Real commitment in a sense Carrie and Mr. Big faced it or Charlotte and her Harry faced it or Miranda and her Steve faced it or even Samantha and her healthy libido faced it? Is something like that – the romantic, over produced, overrated love available in real life? Off screen and off screenplay?