the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

Archive for February, 2012

A Song That Should Be Played When You… / the Music Saga [Part II]

Given the circumstances of people around me recently getting disappointed or their heart broken by significant other’s I thought it might be time to cheer them up and show them not just my affection but that I am ALWAYS (in capital letters!) there for them whenever they need me. And, another thing that might help is the knowledge of the existence of people everywhere getting their heart broken almost any minute but most of them get back up, hold their heads up high and their hearts wide open to put themselves out there in order to one day find someone who knows they are worth fighting for. (And worth being the only one to date or fuck or touch at all.)

So here is Part II of my Music Saga – A Song That Should Be Played When You…

“…it’s alright, OK – I’m so much better without you! I won’t feel sorry.”

Ashley Tisdale – It’s Alright, It’s OK
[Album: Guilty Pleasure]

Ashley Tisdale - It's Alright, It's OK (Single Cover)

“…What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.”

Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
[Album: Stronger]

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) [Single Cover]

“…Trying to apologize, you’re so ugly when you cry. Please, just cut it out.”

Rihanna – Take a Bow
[Album: Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded]

Rihanna - Take a Bow (Single Cover)

“…Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Adele – Someone Like You
[Album: 21]

Adele - Someone Like You (Single Cover)

“…I will love again. Though my heart is breaking I will love again. Stronger than before.”

Lara Fabian – I Will Love Again
[Album: Lara Fabian]

Lara Fabian - I Will Love Again (Single Cover)

“…I’m a survivor (What?). I’m not goin’ give up (What?). I’m not goin’ stop (What?). I’m goin’ work harder (What?).”

Destiny’s Child – Survivor
[Album: Survivor]

Destiny's Child - Survivor (Single Cover)

“…nothing’s fine I’m torn! I’m all out of faith. This is how I feel.”

Natalie Imbruglia – Torn
[Album: Left Off the Middle]

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn (Single Cover)

In the end… all that a heartbreak mostly results in is pain and tears and emotional wasteland. But, with these songs, with a little help of your friends, with a lot of screaming and allowing yourself being angry and hurt you will be the one who stands up tall and eased and self-confident because you know you are stronger by going through the hard times. By working it out. By making yourself realize that if someone breaks up with you – he/she does not deserve it and isn’t worth the tears.



P.S.: Those who I call my friends know one things – no matter what time it is, no matter how far away I am – I am ALWAYS (again, with the capital letters) there for you.



This is an amazing day. A short day at the office. The sun shining as bright as never before this winter season and I finally feel like spring is softly knocking on my shoulder telling me to dress up in spring collections. TGIS – Thank God it’s Springtime! And I feel so damn good today!

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad Campaign

I even am inspired to push myself getting back to working a bit on fashion again – and thanks to whom? The one and only Vera Wang. To me there is hardly anyone as inspiring as Vera is. Her bridal couture personifies the romantic dreams of giving love and being loved as well as looking forward to a day where a woman puts on the most beautiful gown of her life and a man wearing the most perfectly fitted suit he ever had in order to meet one another at a most special point of life. The aisle. Where a woman is supposed to marry the man she loves and where both man and woman should be allowed to marry whomever they want – in the eyes of a God they believe in, of a church that accepts them the way they are, with all the choices they are making.

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad Campaign

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad Campaign

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Ad Campaign

(Design by Vera Wang. Photography by Carter Smith. Models: Shu Pei and Tian Yi.)

Every now and then, when I watch people interacting or talking to one another I see one thing. Even in today’s society – where computers develop faster than the human race possible could; where human beings overcome their own frontiers and borders in order to develop bigger things than ever before, we are stuck in pretending to accept one another while talking behind their backs, acting against the actual human right of being free and happy and allowed to love whoever you want as well as being allowed to be loved. Openly. Without feeling the necessity of hiding in a closet where all the loneliness comes together and might mess up ones heart and thoughts and soul until the point where there is no return. And then once this point comes everyone acts surprised and shocked and sad even though they are well aware of the fact that they could have prevented it by accepting, tolerating and above all accepting someone for being who they are/were.

A Couple Kissing Passionately

Men Kissing

Gay Kiss Women

Between you and me – I am not the one to point his finger on someone’s flaw since I for myself often judge by not being tolerant enough to accept every person that crosses my way the way they are. I wish I could. Like my sister. Or like my wonderful friend Brigitte. But unfortunately I still have to work a lot on that subject though my judgment is less on the sex, gender or race but more on the fact that some people just don’t give a damn how they look or present themselves to and in society and the people around them. It is a thing I just can’t understand. But as I said, I promise to work on it. On myself. Developing my character further. Embracing other people’s flaws as well as my own and accepting different opportunities not just on a fashion matter but on general terms too.

So – why not for once trying to think about a world where all the people have the same rights? Where all the people have a home and right to love. Whomever they choose. Whomever they want.



“Life’s too short to even care at all…”

Walking Disaster.

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

In life there are certain days that just try to pull you down. Today sucked. I don’t know how and I don’t know why but I just did not feel my fabulous self. So I was at the office and all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe and I felt really weird and bad and horrible and outside the sun was shining and all I was able to think about was one thing, “I have to get out of here!” And so I took off. Because sometimes you can. And sometimes you just have to! The best decision for this day. I just needed the break. The sun. The fresh air prickling on my skin.

I took my Petar Petrov silk jacket, put on my Gucci Shades and left the building to take a walk. To breathe. To calm down. To get back to myself and to fucking get my own act together. Sometimes you’ve just got to leave the fight in order to win it. In order to be the strong one in the end. In order to win. In order to be the one who remains standing when all battling is done. But sometimes you can’t win because of the stress pressing down on you and even if you fight there is nothing you can do because of a whole load of double standards going on around you. And in this moment there is only one song that can help you! Turn it up loud as I did. Jump around in your flat singing to it as loud as possible. Scream to get rid of all the anger. AND even if you are a walking disaster – look around you! You aren’t the only one who is but you know you can be a walking disaster in one moment and fabulously amazing in the next!

Kelly Clarkson – You Can’t Win
(Album: Stronger)

If you go, they’ll say you’re following
If you don’t, then you’re too good for them
If you smile, you must be ignorant
If you don’t, what’s your problem?

If you’re down, so ungrateful
And if you’re happy, why so selfish?
And, you can’t win
No, you can’t win, no

The one who doesn’t quite fit in
Underdressed under your skin
Oh, a walking disaster
Every time you try to fly
You end up falling out of line, oh
You can’t win, no

If you’re thin, poor little walking disease
If you’re not, they’re all screaming obese
If you’re straight, why aren’t you married yet?
If you’re gay, why aren’t you waving a flag?

If it’s wrong, you’re knowing it
If it’s right, you’ll always miss
You can’t win, no
You can’t win, no

The one who doesn’t quite fit in
Underdressed under your skin
Oh, a walking disaster
Every time you try to fly
You end up falling out of line, oh
You can’t win, no

And you try, you try so hard
But it’s wearing on your heart
And you play, you play the game

But you pay, you pay for it
You can’t win, no
You can’t win no

If you speak, you’ll only piss ‘em off
If you don’t, you’re another robot
If you stop, they’ll just say you quit
If you don’t, you might lose your shit
You can’t win, no
You can’t win, no
You can’t win, no

The one who doesn’t quite fit in
Underdressed under your skin
Oh, a walking disaster

Every time you try to fly
You end up falling out of line, oh
You can’t win, no

I can’t win…

The one who doesn’t quite fit in
Underdressed under your skin
Oh, a walking disaster
Every time you try to fly
You end up falling out of line, oh
You can’t win, no

After jumping and dancing and screaming and allowing yourself to let go of all the anger and tension and stress and the world weighting heavy on your shoulders, you might feel a little eased? I did for sure. And that is why I had to share this with you!



You can't whine all the time.

You Might As Well Be Happy.

Even though it is sometimes tough and sad it still remains a beautiful life!

All things bright and glittery and new? Or better stay the same and take the safe bet? What is your choice? Does it make any sense to change who you are in order to become the person you’ve always wanted to be? Or is it insane to reach for some things that might never come true because it would be irrationally stupid to believe in them?

Have you ever thought that maybe the most ridiculous, most insanely believed dreams are those that are worth risking your life or losing something in order to achieve them?

The thing is that I have been taught one thing throughout living this life, to worry. Ever since we grow up, jumping from Junior High School to High School to University we are being taught by our parents and by society that only those who worry and care about their grades and manners and behaviors are those who achieve the most. And I tried and tried to be good. But I simply wasn’t. I failed. And I failed again. And then one day I was fed up and stopped trying. And it worked out. All of a sudden. All out of thin air my grades became what I always wanted them to be. I listened to what my teachers had to say and I did not feel the necessity to study 24/7 because I understood that even if I try hard and study hard I need to have a balance. I needed to make sure that there was (and still is) an equilibrium between being a good student and having a life that I can enjoy to its fullest.

Enjoy This Life!

No one than yourself can decide what is good for you. If you understand the concept of visiting school every single day and making your A-Level and either going to University or working, you are the one who has to make the decision! You are the only one who can choose what is good for you. What is worth living for. Dreaming for. Working for. Hoping for. Even if you fail – it is up to you to get back up again, back on track and show all the bastards that made you doubt in yourself and your talents what you are made of!
That is the joy of being young! Living this life the way you want to. Taking it and turning it into your own TV-Show. Your own blockbuster Movie!

Where is the sense in being young if you do not enjoy what you have. A life worth living. Take the drama and get along with it. Be inspired by all the sadness and turn it into something amazing. If there was one thing I have learned from all the bad and all the sad and all those dramatic experiences that felt like a shadow heavy on my heart it was to draw from them, gaining strength from them, developing my own character further to become what I am now.
Stronger. Self-confident. Proud of what and who I am. Still doubting myself sometimes, of course but how can you grow and develop your character further without doubting in order to start working on something? If you don’t like yourself start working on that and NOT on finding someone to be in a relationship with just to burry all the discontent with yourself.

As I said before, and as I will say many more times – you are the one person you’ll have to get along with for the rest of your life. So why hating yourself, taking this life way too seriously instead of being proud of who you are, loving yourself, learning to appreciate everything you see when looking into a mirror and having fun every single day of your life!
Why being sad if you can be happy instead? Why being depressed about something longer than necessary if you might as well could take the anger and pain and turn it into something amazing?

Think about it. Live it. You are young. You are free. You are beautiful!



P.S.: If you doubt – play this video, get the fuck up and dance, dance, dance!

What the Hell Do I Have to Give?

Since I came across the fact of meeting different types of men throughout my life either in friendship, fuckship or in a relationship comparable to being a sinking ship I come to terms with the fact that out there are millions of men running around trying to find a partner, an affair or just a one night stand. And here I am. A single guy of 22 with a dating history of a 34 year old women (okay, I am a bit exaggerating there but to put it in Charlotte York’s mouth “I’ve been dating since I was 15. I’m exhausted. Where is he?!” Yeah, where the hell is he?!) always looking for the one. And then there is a bus that hits me. BOOM! I am 24. And BOOM! again. I am definitely too young to care about this particular topic. The one. The right one. The only one. The one and only. The bastard that takes your breath away and wants to make you all his and himself all yourself until you finally give in on agreeing to marry that guy. And you are happy. Until there comes divorce.

Okay, I admit I am quite cynical there because it is not like that in every relationship. Sometimes, when a cute elderly couple walks by I wonder how they made it. How did they come clean with all the challenging acts of life. How did they stay in love? How did they fall in love? What is there story?

This is where it hits me again. Maybe they hadn’t have the best of times. Maybe they haven’t even been happy all their lives. But maybe they have. What if they have. Then there’s hoping to the good times to come, the good fellas to date, the good guys to fall in love with and the great guys to consider marrying? At this point of time there is actually only one thing to do except for complaining or caring about being single because honestly, right now I am kind of good with it since my life seems to be all about the work at the moment. But that is good. I am young, full of energy, powerful and full of fashionable, snobby comments for those that cross my way trying to beat me down.

I wonder, why are we always in search for something seemingly perfect on the outside as well as on the inside instead of taking a close look at us first thinking, “Why do I have to offer to someone?” I pour myself a glass of red wine, waiting for my ordered dinner to arrive when I immediately realize I just started to point it out leading myself to the unmistakable number one.

1, I can’t cook. I can’t even make soup without it burning for good (if you do not believe me, ask my colleagues – last Monday they have been trying to save my food and me for what I call Chapter 280 – Another Meal Bites the Dust). Everything I have to offer in the cooking department is either going to a restaurant or staying at home having takeout dinner, except, of course, if the other half knows how to cook. Then I am all about the cooking. I can cut. I am really good at cutting vegetables. Sad thing though, my delivery service guy knows my name, my favorite Pizza and that I am single.

2, No real estate. As sorry as I am to say but I neither have a house or an apartment that I can fully call my own since I did not pay for it aka buy the place. And I do not think I will ever buy a place in a city except New York. Why settle if the world has so many wonders to offer?

3, I love to quarrel. I enjoy a good fight. Sometimes I purposely go for it. Well, if that isn’t a relationship killer? And apparently, admitting all this feels better than one session with my therapist. But at least it is good to keep passion alive. And think about the hot make up sex that follows a really good and heavy argument!

4, A collection of Vogue. Many guys might not appreciate the fact that I collect this magazine ever since I was able to write the name down but in every fashion emergency you can always count to one thing – picking an outfit directly styled by someone like Grace Coddington or picked by Anna Wintour always is a good idea. Oh yeah – obsession for Vogue directly leads to an obsession for fashion (uh, what a rhyme) which directly leads to finding a guy that has an understanding for me buying all those Vogues, buying all those clothes, talking 24/7 about a skirt or a suit or a bag I saw the other day and allowing me to change his wardrobe one step at a time if not being suitable for public life. And yes, suitable in my fashion eye.

I would definitely have some more issues or things that might not make it into the list of ‘Ten Things to Not Look For in a Guy” but hey – that’s just me. And I actually like me. How many of you can say the same? If not – you should work on that before running around searching for the one because how can you expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself with all your flaws and great sides? I may be neurotic, sometimes a little twisted, pessimistic and sarcastic but there is a lot more to me than just the outfit you see when you seem me walking on the street or stopping a cab or taking the metro. And I bet there is more to you too. So, embrace yourself and just get along with who you are because that is the only person you’ll have to stick with for a lifetime – yourself!



P.S.: I am deeply sorry to say but Miss Whitney Houston the world will miss you. Yet another great artist giving life away carelessly. Giving in to drugs. We will miss you. And we will love your memories of good old days forever.

My Personal New Year’s Eve

“You’ve got to dance like there’s nobody watching…”

“So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about…”

It’s snowing outside. I just returned home from the office and I have to say, against all the odds of snow – it’s beautiful. Glittery. Sparkling as the wind blows it all around me.

I’ve decided to take a walk after leaving the office. Enjoying the clean air. Breathing in what felt like a new beginning to something. A cleansing process for all that happened in the past. I made my peace with them somehow. I did not expect it to happen so soon, or with some, so late. But it happened. And it feels good. As I come home to write these lines I listen to “Auld Lang Syne” sung by Lea Michele in the movie New Year’s Eve and I have to say it feels as if this is my very own New Year’s Eve. The moment I am walking, passing by all the old, worn out memories that have no remedy or any feeling of regret but will be cherished as necessary for the process of growing up. Of growing up to be who I am this minute. And growing up to who I will be after these crucial minutes pass by.

That is what life is about, isn’t it? Growing up in good memories and bad ones. Taking them all to create something utterly beautiful that will be a piece of you forever because they helped you to develop your character further. Because those particular memories took your strength one moment to another, making you vulnerable to this wide open space of emotional ambivalence to give you the chance to rise again. Regaining strength by concentrating on the pain. Not just wishing it away by hoping for a fairy to materialize right in front of your eyes granting you a wish but by working on yourself. Your abilities. Your character. Your flaws as well as those particular parts of you that you’ve always considered your most beautiful. Your life. Your close environment as well as the bits and pieces of an environment that you would have never considered being attached to your life.

Life is a constant, never ending process of learning. Of growing. Of falling asleep and waking up again. Of falling down and getting up again. Of falling in love and realizing that it maybe never was love. And of falling in love all over again. Against your better judgement. Against your own doubts. Cherish the great moments and learn from the bad ones. Don’t push away what could be a rolling stone for becoming yourself more and more. Each step at a time.



My Most Favorite Quotes on Life:

You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
[William W. Purkey]

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
[Mae West]

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
[Mother Teresa]

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
[Marilyn Monroe]

Being a single guy in Vienna…

…or being a single gay guy in Vienna. Apparently it seems to be important to pinpoint on the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy, even though I really tried to put my faith into believing that not being into women was the only thing that made me obviously different to other guys around me.

Funny fact – people believe a gay guy has to have a fashion gene. At least, that is what some women believe when they say things like “oh, I have always wanted to have a gay best friend, so we can go shopping and bash about boys and…”

Yeah, right… because that is how a friendship is supposed to work. You hunt for a gant toy guy on the street and once you’ve captured him you never let him go and bring him to parties, to your local Burberry store or your single girl’s night as a plus one because it is oh so groundbreaking. But, that is actually not the point of this article, though there is a point. I do NOT wa be treated or considered a girl! I am a guy. Yes, a gay guy. But a guy nonetheless. And as such I want to be treated.

Back to topic. The gay guy in Vienna. Or as I call it the single gay guy in Vienna. Or as this article should actually be called – how to put yourself out there if out there seems to be nothing worth putting yourself into?!

Gay Love versus Straight Love - Isn't It the Same?

Alexandra Potter writes in her novel ‘Me and Mr Darcy,’ “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single (I have to switch the original girl with its male equivalent here) guy in possession of his (again switched from ‘her’) right mind must be in want of a decent man. There’s just one problem … […] where on earth do you find a decent man these days?”

The first minute I read those lines I laugh. The immediate second after I laughed I frustratedly close the book, put on a very concerned look and against all my beliefs of former days have to admit… “damn it, that woman has a point there. Fuck.” Because, when it comes to gay guys at least (and I pinpoint on those because you know – a gay guy should always go for another gay guy or because falling head over heels with a straight guy can either lead to misery or to a broken heart. Or both. And in some times, well, that is what I have heard from friends, it leads to having unattached sex because the other party wanted to “experiment.” Yeah, right. Uhm hum. Experiment it is.) there are no available men on the market for someone who doesn’t want to have a first date and then the sex but wants to have a first date, and a second one, and a third one before we cross bases that I maybe do not want to cross if a guy doesn’t even open a book once in a while. And yes, against all the people around me thinking I am crazy for this but I simply can’t date a guy who doesn’t read. I am sorry, but reading is like breathing to me. And it should at least be considered as some kind of self teaching method to gain knowledge; strength, sometimes; wise words, very often; funny or witty quotes even more often and above all material to talk about with someone else.

You see, yes, I am a bit frustrated sometimes when I think about how it should be and then being thrown back into real life having to face the fact that it isn’t what it should be. It is worse. It is fucked up a bit too. Okay, a load more than a bit but hey, who the hell decided that in 2011 / 2012 most of the gay guys really have to fulfill the cliche of only wanting flings and unattached sex? Is there anywhere a guy that cares about manners and romantic dates and good conversations over wine (or water or coffee or whatever)? I don’t care about a guy being the most romantic guy in the world and I definitely do not want someone to read poem to me, for that matter I can read some good old Shakespeare, but I to the least finally want meet a guy that has the decency to ask me out on a real date before asking me how big my dick is and which position I prefer. Is that too much too ask? You tell me.



P.S.: I am sorry that it took me so long to write again and that my first few lines are more words of frustration but I seem to be back somehow. In a new way though for I have reflected my past, rearranged myself and changed a bit of my old me in order to be a bigger, better and bolder 2012 version of Mr.StrictlyIntimate. Hope you forgive me. xoxo

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