the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

Being a single guy in Vienna…

…or being a single gay guy in Vienna. Apparently it seems to be important to pinpoint on the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy, even though I really tried to put my faith into believing that not being into women was the only thing that made me obviously different to other guys around me.

Funny fact – people believe a gay guy has to have a fashion gene. At least, that is what some women believe when they say things like “oh, I have always wanted to have a gay best friend, so we can go shopping and bash about boys and…”

Yeah, right… because that is how a friendship is supposed to work. You hunt for a gant toy guy on the street and once you’ve captured him you never let him go and bring him to parties, to your local Burberry store or your single girl’s night as a plus one because it is oh so groundbreaking. But, that is actually not the point of this article, though there is a point. I do NOT wa be treated or considered a girl! I am a guy. Yes, a gay guy. But a guy nonetheless. And as such I want to be treated.

Back to topic. The gay guy in Vienna. Or as I call it the single gay guy in Vienna. Or as this article should actually be called – how to put yourself out there if out there seems to be nothing worth putting yourself into?!

Gay Love versus Straight Love - Isn't It the Same?

Alexandra Potter writes in her novel ‘Me and Mr Darcy,’ “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single (I have to switch the original girl with its male equivalent here) guy in possession of his (again switched from ‘her’) right mind must be in want of a decent man. There’s just one problem … […] where on earth do you find a decent man these days?”

The first minute I read those lines I laugh. The immediate second after I laughed I frustratedly close the book, put on a very concerned look and against all my beliefs of former days have to admit… “damn it, that woman has a point there. Fuck.” Because, when it comes to gay guys at least (and I pinpoint on those because you know – a gay guy should always go for another gay guy or because falling head over heels with a straight guy can either lead to misery or to a broken heart. Or both. And in some times, well, that is what I have heard from friends, it leads to having unattached sex because the other party wanted to “experiment.” Yeah, right. Uhm hum. Experiment it is.) there are no available men on the market for someone who doesn’t want to have a first date and then the sex but wants to have a first date, and a second one, and a third one before we cross bases that I maybe do not want to cross if a guy doesn’t even open a book once in a while. And yes, against all the people around me thinking I am crazy for this but I simply can’t date a guy who doesn’t read. I am sorry, but reading is like breathing to me. And it should at least be considered as some kind of self teaching method to gain knowledge; strength, sometimes; wise words, very often; funny or witty quotes even more often and above all material to talk about with someone else.

You see, yes, I am a bit frustrated sometimes when I think about how it should be and then being thrown back into real life having to face the fact that it isn’t what it should be. It is worse. It is fucked up a bit too. Okay, a load more than a bit but hey, who the hell decided that in 2011 / 2012 most of the gay guys really have to fulfill the cliche of only wanting flings and unattached sex? Is there anywhere a guy that cares about manners and romantic dates and good conversations over wine (or water or coffee or whatever)? I don’t care about a guy being the most romantic guy in the world and I definitely do not want someone to read poem to me, for that matter I can read some good old Shakespeare, but I to the least finally want meet a guy that has the decency to ask me out on a real date before asking me how big my dick is and which position I prefer. Is that too much too ask? You tell me.



P.S.: I am sorry that it took me so long to write again and that my first few lines are more words of frustration but I seem to be back somehow. In a new way though for I have reflected my past, rearranged myself and changed a bit of my old me in order to be a bigger, better and bolder 2012 version of Mr.StrictlyIntimate. Hope you forgive me. xoxo



  jeanne wrote @

Nice to see you back R. I’ve been dropping by & wondered if you were okay.
A belated glückliches neues Jahr to you 🙂

As for being a single gay guy…well gay or straight sometimes its better to carry the torch alone than carry the heavy weight of a relationship. I’m not Yoda of course but its how I feel.
Its freeeezing cold atm so its a good excuse to go to the sauna or hang out at a big Mall or at bookstore. Time to mingle. My brother is gay & he found the love of his life completely unexpected while ideling away at a gay bookstore. He often gets hit on as he’s quite cute but that chance meeting changed his life.
Or else why not for awhile stop looking for a guy & just see what happens. You might be surprised by the unexpected. Love often appears in the least likely of places & circumstances. Perhaps you set your radar level too high & your horizons too far? Love is give & take. If a guy isn’t into books well he’ll have other qualities too. Personally I think dumb handy men can be quite sexy & gentle souls. I don’t know if all my gibberish is making any sense but I just want you to find happiness. Fingers crossed for you. xxx

  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @

My dear Jeanne,

your words are as always tremendously wise and amazingly beautiful. I have stopped looking for a guy since quite some time now, just every now and then when I feel the urge of going on a date the popping question seems to be my sexual preferences. But I guess I am not the only gay guy experiencing this and I have to say – I am absolutely happy for your brother to have found love.

I actually mostly avoid gay places like parties, clubs and book stores. I do not know why, but they make me feel uncomfortable somehow. Nonetheless. You maybe are right when it comes to my expectations just that reading is something I could not live without and if it means so much to me how could I become attached to someone to whom books do not have any meaning at all?


  Autumn Sunshine wrote @

It’s so good to see you back 🙂 I have wondered how you were doing. Sometimes we find love when we least expect it, so you never know. Take care and I am just glad to know you have figured things out for now. xox

  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @

Oh Autumn, thank you so much. I am glad to be back. A little bit wiser. A little bit better. A little bit more grown up! Please, give your sister my best wishes too!


  georgie lorimer wrote @

Crikey! It is marvellous to finally hear the sounds of a fellow with some common sense floating around. Also, and I hope that you do not think me presumptious to say so, but I agree in part with Jeanne on the generally just don’t look for persons sort of whatnot, for although that can lead to the remaining with nobody sort of thingywhat, as you say, there’s always Shakespeare (or for a similar period on the poetry front try Richard Barnfield- frightfully unsubtle, but rather jolly at the same time) and you never know, persons pop up at surprising moments so all may turn out well. Sorry, I shall stop whatnoting on your post now and away.

Georgie x

  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @

Well, hi there Georgie. I definitely agree on the “not remaining waiting for something to happen or someone special to cross my way” – part, for I still have to say that this ain’t quite easy. Though I of course do spend my time with friends and with a lot of work and writing to be set free from wishful thinking and hopeful wishing. I will definitely try harder on that front or, for the better maybe, try not at all. Just let it go. It all.

And coming back to Richard Barnfield. I most certainly have to occupy myself with him, expanding my horizon a bit further than the Encomion of Lady Pecunia. Thank you very much for that advice! And please do never stop whatnoting such marvelous words.


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