the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

What the Hell Do I Have to Give?

Since I came across the fact of meeting different types of men throughout my life either in friendship, fuckship or in a relationship comparable to being a sinking ship I come to terms with the fact that out there are millions of men running around trying to find a partner, an affair or just a one night stand. And here I am. A single guy of 22 with a dating history of a 34 year old women (okay, I am a bit exaggerating there but to put it in Charlotte York’s mouth “I’ve been dating since I was 15. I’m exhausted. Where is he?!” Yeah, where the hell is he?!) always looking for the one. And then there is a bus that hits me. BOOM! I am 24. And BOOM! again. I am definitely too young to care about this particular topic. The one. The right one. The only one. The one and only. The bastard that takes your breath away and wants to make you all his and himself all yourself until you finally give in on agreeing to marry that guy. And you are happy. Until there comes divorce.

Okay, I admit I am quite cynical there because it is not like that in every relationship. Sometimes, when a cute elderly couple walks by I wonder how they made it. How did they come clean with all the challenging acts of life. How did they stay in love? How did they fall in love? What is there story?

This is where it hits me again. Maybe they hadn’t have the best of times. Maybe they haven’t even been happy all their lives. But maybe they have. What if they have. Then there’s hoping to the good times to come, the good fellas to date, the good guys to fall in love with and the great guys to consider marrying? At this point of time there is actually only one thing to do except for complaining or caring about being single because honestly, right now I am kind of good with it since my life seems to be all about the work at the moment. But that is good. I am young, full of energy, powerful and full of fashionable, snobby comments for those that cross my way trying to beat me down.

I wonder, why are we always in search for something seemingly perfect on the outside as well as on the inside instead of taking a close look at us first thinking, “Why do I have to offer to someone?” I pour myself a glass of red wine, waiting for my ordered dinner to arrive when I immediately realize I just started to point it out leading myself to the unmistakable number one.

1, I can’t cook. I can’t even make soup without it burning for good (if you do not believe me, ask my colleagues – last Monday they have been trying to save my food and me for what I call Chapter 280 – Another Meal Bites the Dust). Everything I have to offer in the cooking department is either going to a restaurant or staying at home having takeout dinner, except, of course, if the other half knows how to cook. Then I am all about the cooking. I can cut. I am really good at cutting vegetables. Sad thing though, my delivery service guy knows my name, my favorite Pizza and that I am single.

2, No real estate. As sorry as I am to say but I neither have a house or an apartment that I can fully call my own since I did not pay for it aka buy the place. And I do not think I will ever buy a place in a city except New York. Why settle if the world has so many wonders to offer?

3, I love to quarrel. I enjoy a good fight. Sometimes I purposely go for it. Well, if that isn’t a relationship killer? And apparently, admitting all this feels better than one session with my therapist. But at least it is good to keep passion alive. And think about the hot make up sex that follows a really good and heavy argument!

4, A collection of Vogue. Many guys might not appreciate the fact that I collect this magazine ever since I was able to write the name down but in every fashion emergency you can always count to one thing – picking an outfit directly styled by someone like Grace Coddington or picked by Anna Wintour always is a good idea. Oh yeah – obsession for Vogue directly leads to an obsession for fashion (uh, what a rhyme) which directly leads to finding a guy that has an understanding for me buying all those Vogues, buying all those clothes, talking 24/7 about a skirt or a suit or a bag I saw the other day and allowing me to change his wardrobe one step at a time if not being suitable for public life. And yes, suitable in my fashion eye.

I would definitely have some more issues or things that might not make it into the list of ‘Ten Things to Not Look For in a Guy” but hey – that’s just me. And I actually like me. How many of you can say the same? If not – you should work on that before running around searching for the one because how can you expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself with all your flaws and great sides? I may be neurotic, sometimes a little twisted, pessimistic and sarcastic but there is a lot more to me than just the outfit you see when you seem me walking on the street or stopping a cab or taking the metro. And I bet there is more to you too. So, embrace yourself and just get along with who you are because that is the only person you’ll have to stick with for a lifetime – yourself!



P.S.: I am deeply sorry to say but Miss Whitney Houston the world will miss you. Yet another great artist giving life away carelessly. Giving in to drugs. We will miss you. And we will love your memories of good old days forever.


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