In the first moment I thought, ‘Well, this must be the reason why people do not want to get hit by a bus…’ At least, I guess it must feel like this. Unexpectedly agonizing; deeply irritating and overwhelmingly weird. And within seconds it’s all gone. All the feelings, all the thoughts, all the deep meanings to something that has been but isn’t there anymore.
It’s been two years now. Plus, minus one week. I can’t remember exactly but I know it was October. The weirdest and most agonizing October I have ever had. I was in a dark place I put myself because I was overly dramatic and overly emotional, which lead me directly to being ridiculously irrationally driven by these emotions of just being dumbed by someone you’ve loved. And today I saw him. In a car right in front of my university building. For the first time since we broke up. He broke up with me. Not we. He.
Here I am now with these two years on my hands and on my Facebook timeline and I became aware of one thing tonight: THIS was crucial for final closure. On my way home from University I have thought a lot about times with W and once I arrived home, entering my own four walls through those double doors I realized – I grew a lot in more ways than I have ever expected of myself. In the first few moments of being at home during the change of my outfit I was thinking about what I was feeling. I couldn’t quite make it out. Was I sad? No. Was I angry? No. Was I grieving? No.
Then there it was. The realization of what I must have been waiting for… for forever. I felt nothing but the satisfaction of the moment of knowing that I really am fine with it. I have moved on and I feel like a better version of myself. Mr.StrictlyIntimate exists for three and a half years now. I have been through so much, emotionally and work relatedly. I have grown to become a skyscraper for the relationship with my ex showed me so many facets of being a human being without the necessity of always having to be perfect but being who you are with everything you are. Every flaw you think you hate but actually, deep within fucking love. Every piece of you that loves life. Every piece of you that burns for something – a passion; as wild as the hottest, sexiest kiss you have ever tasted on your lips. Every piece of a dream you work your ass of for. Every minute of a day you live and breathe and work and love and struggle just because you want to feel alive.
This is it! This is life. And it’s beautiful, immaculate, opulent, fantastic, passionate… it is everything you make it!
If you feel like breaking down because someone recently told you he/she doesn’t love you anymore – so be it! Break down! BUT get your ass back up again because life is A-MAZING! And it begins over and over again. Once you break down, you get back up and try again – harder and better than ever before! Over and over again. Because that is what makes you FEARLESS! That is what makes dreams beautiful: fighting for them with every piece of your heart.
After all, it’s his/her loss, isn’t it?!
Mr.StrictlyIntimate is back in Vienna. But the big question is: Where has he been?
Well, the answer is quite easy – Berlin.
Yes, almost one year after my last visit I found myself again in Berlin for one day. Anna of Xpress, Julia of Miss, Lena of Katha, and I have been invited by Katha Agency in cooperation with JUKE and Universal to attend a private gig with Nelly Furtado celebrating the release of her new album ‘The Spirit Indestructible’ on September 14th, which is, exactly TODAY! So go buy it because it is really catchy and inspiring.
Checking it at the new Indigo Hotel directly situated at the Alexanderplatz I was ready to take a shower after the flight and ready to read a bit of Vogue in the perfectly comfortable bed that reminded me of the urgent necessity to buy more pillows!
Two hours before the show started I was ready to get dressed and prepared for the big event – there was prepping, there were outfit changes, there was a hint of make up and then there was the perfectly prepared Mr.StrictlyIntimate…
So there I was on the red carper right in front of her – a hugely famous singer and entertainer. And then, there came the moment when I was allowed to go up to her to ask her some questions and the first and really most important one that came to my mind was actually inspired by her song ‘Spirit Indestructible’ because to me it seemed that she wanted to create a new kind of anthem and that the new album would be different and new.
Here is her statement to this question:
‘I wanted to do an album that was raw and agressive and I think it has a real humanity in the album. I always strive for that. I feel like I make music for other people so I have to live a real life in order to do that. That’s why it takes such long breaks in between my albums, so I can really live. I can fall down on my face and get back up again and write about those mistakes and successes in the songs. And I think that’s what makes the songs real. So, for me music is like soul food and I can give that to my fans.’
After all the interviewers and photographers were through it was time to enter the location, get a drink and shake to the sounds of wonderfully nice Nelly Furtado.
Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)
Powerless – with fade into – This Is the World We Live In
All Good Things Come to an End (Special Guest appearance Rae Garvey from Raemonn)
Manos al Aire
Turn Off the Lights
I’m Like a Bird (Ballad Version)
Parking Lot (New Single)
MEDLEY: Nobody Quite But You / On the Floor / Morning After / ‘Having Fun’
Waiting for the Night
Say it Right with final Chorus to the melody of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ by Nirvana
Let me tell you – Nelly Furtado blew me away! She is a beautiful, amazingly friendly and absolutely inspiring person and I was really thrilled for receiving this invitation and the possibility of meeting her. Afterwards the four of us went back to the hotel where we drained a third bottle of wine (and a fourth later on) before Anna and I decided to jump into a taxi to get the best Doener possible in Berlin – the city of the Doener with apparently the nicest taxi drivers I have ever met.
Right after eating and draining a forth bottle of rosé I decided to go to bed and make myself mentally prepared for coming back to Vienna. Where I am again. And that is good at the moment. Somehow. Because I know, right now, here – there is more to come. Way more. For YOU. And ME.
P.S.: You can watch the whole concert for one week on Tape.tv as well as on NellyFurtado.de, plus: JUKE will make make material from the concert available for streaming at MYJUKE.COM! If you want to watch an amazing show as well as see the most beautiful version of I’m Like a Bird, you will definitely have to check it out!
As a tip – check Waiting for the Night from her new album The Spirit Indestructible because that is the song I am dancing to through my whole apartment right now! Come on folks dance along!
All packed with my favourite Burberry pieces and four killer outfits I am currently sitting in a café at the Vienna International Airport waiting for my boarding to begin. One more hour to go…
As I am sitting here I am observing the people in their partly hideous, partly glamorous, and partly weird outfits. I see green and red coloured hair. I see some Dior and I see some H&M. I see some people who care about what they are wearing and I see some who don’t – at all. I see MacBooks and iPads and HPs and Sonys. People with mobile phones in busy calls and people just typing or texting or playing with their iPhones and Samsungs and Nokias… I see people already drinking beer (am I the only one with a correctly working watch reading 10.57 am?) and I see some having coffee or tea or water. Wait… I need another coffee.
I sit here, observing all these people while listening to the new album of one of my favourite bands The Gaslight Anthem. ‘Handwritten’ was released in July by Mercury Records and is a masterpiece that stands for itself. Those who came across this band before will maybe know their major hit songs ‘The ’59 Sound’ or ‘Great Expectations,’ which is one of the few songs that nowadays really, really gets to me.
You know what? I love it here – I love the people uneasily looking at their watches every ten seconds just to make sure the plane doesn’t depart without them. I love the people busily occupied with themselves and the people wandering around to grab a bite, or a drink. I just love the busyness in the air – damn, I am addicted to that.
I will relax now to read my VOGUE – stay tuned because there is way more to come. Today is a very busy day.
P.S.: Here’s a little hint on where I am really going:
Nelly Furtado – Spirit Indestructible
[Album: The Spirit Indestructible]
Currently when I am in public wandering round the streets or being on the way to a meeting or a dinner I find myself being observed by people crossing my way in a very strange manner. The minute people look at me the weird way they do I am wondering if there is something wrong with my face or my outfit and then the next second I find myself realizing I am still in Vienna and we all know – Vienna is in no way ‘Fashion Forward’ even though a lot of Austrian designers, some of which are bad, some of which are extraordinarily good, some of which are truly irrelevant; and fashion bloggers who find themselves being so incredibly important in this fucked up country, try to turn it around by saying ‘Vienna is on the way to becoming a fashion city.’
There I find myself saying, ‘NO. It definitely isn’t!’ Just because a city has stores like Prada, Louis Vuitton, Burberry and Giorgio Armani, it doesn’t become fashionably. Having shops like that is called economy. Just because a city all of a sudden has the idea of hosting its own fashion week, it doesn’t become a fashion metropolis. If you have ever visited the Vienna Fashion Week you’ll realize that it’s called embarrassing. Embarrassing because all of a sudden all bloggers become fashion bloggers just because they post pictures of their stupid outfits because they don’t have anything important to say.
Embarrassing because all these bloggers suddenly become journalists and demand accreditation because they are so important.
Embarrassing because Vienna’s elite of Z-list celebrities all of a sudden decide they are oh so A-list that they have to be photographed at the VFW just because they will then be in shiny magazines where everyone can see their fabulousness.
None of these people really have an understanding for fashion or a sense for style. Fashion and its history always vanishes at celebrations like these in Vienna – just to make space for people who are full of themselves showing off what they do not have — class, style and elegance. That is the main problem of Vienna’s society and the reason it will never turn to a fashion city, fashion metropolis or capital of fashion. Because people here just do not have class. They do not have an understanding for the changes fashion has been through and its history. Fashion is far more than going to a store being able to purchase a €3.400 Burberry trench coat. It is far more than going to Zara and getting yourself an outfit you can post about the next day. Fashion is knowledge. Knowledge of its dimensions — its reach, its history, its global impacts, its designers, its collaborations, its cultural impacts, its influences, its politics, its development.
To me it is rather ridiculous to post an outfit on one’s blog calling themselves journalists or fashion bloggers because there is nothing connected to the meaning and understanding of ‘fashion’ at all. All there really is, is lack of attention that needs to be compensated. And that is what Vienna’s Z-listers and ‘fashion’ bloggers who only post about their outfits really do for a living.
To be continued…
(…because I have a lot more to add!)
P.S.: I know the way I wrote this is very open and yes I do know that a lot of people may be personally attacked with this but that is what I intended to do. Since no one seems to be honest anymore it is about time someone is. And that one seems to be me. I very well know that I am not perfect and that I still have a lot to learn fashion wise but I honestly dare to say I know way more about fashion, its history, its impacts and influences than those wannabe fashionistas.
Well, well, well it’s here: the Midseason Summer Finale of our nasty Pretty Little Liars! I think it is going to be pretty epic and I can’t wait to see who is responsible for the big betrAyal that will cause our girls so much pAin that they think the world is opening up before their feet trying to swAllow them completely. Aren’t you as excited as me? Do your brains work on trying to solve the riddle of Team A?
There are a lot of theories on the World Wide Web on how the Liars are going to be betrAyed but I definitely think that someone is going to die (someone just has to, right?!) and that none of our four liars is directly involved in being the betrAyer but I will keep an open spot for that Job for either Melissa, Paige or Ashley. The thing is – there is nothing told about what the betrAyal is so it could be anything and just indirectly involved with A and/or Team A! At least we get to know one member of Team A.
Ah I am so thrilled and excited and I just can’t wait until the television starts to blast Secret by The Pierces because then I know the episode is definitely about to start and the marathon of emotions is not just close but finally here!
Let’s see what crazy Mona holds in stores for us for this episode for I think our lunatic has a little surprise up her black hooded sleeves. We’ll see, we’ll see.
Until it’s here hold your breath bitches because this episode is going to be pretty fucking E-P-I-C!