Archive for Glee Cast Version
Big boys & girls don’t cry. They forget all their pain, keep their chins and heads up high and, go on with living this life like a fucking fighter. No matter what. Sure, there are times in this life where you sometimes face dead-ends or, when you find yourself somewhere without knowing how the hell you got there and even more how the hell you’re going to get out of there. Or, when you try to move on in your industry but you can’t and you feel like being trapped at the same place, same space and same moment – over and over again.
It is times like these when you just have to loosen up and let it all go. Of Everything. All the thoughts, all the negativity, all the cynicism (believe me – with me there is a lot of negativity and cynicism going on and sometimes it seems to be impossible to just letting it go, but it works. Somehow. If you just try.), all the things that are fucking with your head making you the fabulous mess you are. Sure, all those things make you unbelievably special and you feel like you can’t do anything without them – mostly, not going on without them, moving on without them even for the smallest of steps BUT, believe me, sometimes you just have to LET GO.
I have no clue why the hell I am talking about dead ends now for this day actually had a great start with me taking Mr F out on his Birthday Dinner to Fleming’s Deluxe Hotel Wien-City. Their restaurant is not just a very subtle and sophisticated designed place but also has a lot of calm and relaxed charm to it even though being absolutely posh and high-class. My Buffalo Mozzarella with Tomatoes was amazing but the Steak was just phenomenal and tremendously delicious. Mr F ordered the Asparagus with Ham and Prosciutto accompanied by oil and a self-made hollandaise sauce which according to him was purely perfect. And we all know how hard it is to make perfect Asparagus. Well, okay, honestly I really don’t know but I have heard of it or something.
Even though I feel good and look even better and, even though we had an amazingly funny and great time I felt the need of talking about dead ends. I think I have to be plain honest there now – at the moment I feel like slowly coming close to a dead end where I somehow will not be able to decide where to go to go on. I am quite satisfied at the moment: I like my job, I love my friends and I sometimes even have some time to allow myself a little bit of panic shopping at Burberry. But still something bugs me and something feels terribly wrong moving me closer to a position where I might not be able to find my way out as easy as I let out all those witty and sassy comments that make me who I am to all of you.
You know you love me, allow yourself to finally admit it even though you might be thinking I am a little bit weird. So what. I bet you are as weird as I am, which, by the way might be the exact reason you like reading this blog. You can relate to me AND isn’t there anything better than that? Knowing that somewhere out there – maybe even in a far, far away country there is someone who thinks and acts and talks just the way you do? I find it kind of soothing to know I am not the only guy with a spleen out there.
Sometimes, this thought takes away the feeling of being alone on this goddamn planet. Sometimes it is good to know that you are not alone even though you might be the only one in a room but NO, out there – very close to you or, very far away – are people who feel the exact same thing at the exact same moment. Isn’t that fucking scary and great at the same time?
P.S. Yesterday, shortly before going to bed I heard a song on YouTube – a cover of Fergie’s big smash hit ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ (you know the song with a very hunky Milo Ventimiglia playing the male lead in the video) – sung by the Glee Cast and somehow (as very often before) I can’t get it out of my head and it haunts me (in a good way, of course) ever since I got up in the morning to find myself watching two of my most favorite episodes of Sex and the City – ‘I love a Charade (S05E08)’ and, ‘The Post-It Always Sticks Twice (S06E07).’For me, another big hit by the Glee Posse who from the very first episode on sneaked their way into my heart, mind, body and soul and never got out of there. Not for one single moment – not for one single song that I did not like as much as a lot of others.
Well, there it goes: I did it – I made it. I am so fucking great. Bravo to myself. But not just a simple applause – I expect standing ovations! Buildings should be erected in my honor reminding everyone on how amazingly, perfectly, beautifully and utterly great I am!
Okay – okay! I am coming back to earth but still I can be at least a little bit proud of myself because since yesterday I am through with my 28 Days of Sugar Cleansing. Yep, you’ve heard right: I made it and I feel great about it.My skin looks better, I feel better, I definitely consider myself being fitter (which, of course, also has a lot to do with my running schedule) and I am glad that I have changed my eating habits for good. I am a better person now. Well, okay, maybe not a much better person since I am still my cruel, sarcastic, cynical self but still a little bit better. A teensy bit. The only thing I will have to change before hitting the car with my sister and my friends for Croatia in a bit more than a week is my weight. I have lost about 7 Kilos. That wasn’t in my plan at all and even though I was quite aware of the fact that I weight loss was included into this detoxification I tried to prevent myself from that. Now I look even thinner than I did before and THAT I definitely do not like since not even my amazing Burberry Jeans fit me as perfectly anymore.
So – I will try to gain those kilos back in the next days. Of course in a healthy manner without having to get back to eating tons of junk food just to make some calories stick to my body. And, if it all doesn’t help I will have to glue some pounds on my body just to make everything fit perfectly for my well deserved Croatia Vacation.
That’s all for now, I hope you’ll have a great start into the weekend! Live hard. Party harder.
Song of the Day:
Everyone knows that I just love Florence + the Machine‘s amazingly perfect song ‘Shake It Out’ but I would have never thought that it would sounds that amazing when being stripped down and sung by voices so different from Florence Welch’s impeccable voice but the girls from Glee definitely nailed the song and I just can’t stop listening to it the whole day:
Glee Cast – Shake It Out
All things bright and glittery and new? Or better stay the same and take the safe bet? What is your choice? Does it make any sense to change who you are in order to become the person you’ve always wanted to be? Or is it insane to reach for some things that might never come true because it would be irrationally stupid to believe in them?
Have you ever thought that maybe the most ridiculous, most insanely believed dreams are those that are worth risking your life or losing something in order to achieve them?
The thing is that I have been taught one thing throughout living this life, to worry. Ever since we grow up, jumping from Junior High School to High School to University we are being taught by our parents and by society that only those who worry and care about their grades and manners and behaviors are those who achieve the most. And I tried and tried to be good. But I simply wasn’t. I failed. And I failed again. And then one day I was fed up and stopped trying. And it worked out. All of a sudden. All out of thin air my grades became what I always wanted them to be. I listened to what my teachers had to say and I did not feel the necessity to study 24/7 because I understood that even if I try hard and study hard I need to have a balance. I needed to make sure that there was (and still is) an equilibrium between being a good student and having a life that I can enjoy to its fullest.
No one than yourself can decide what is good for you. If you understand the concept of visiting school every single day and making your A-Level and either going to University or working, you are the one who has to make the decision! You are the only one who can choose what is good for you. What is worth living for. Dreaming for. Working for. Hoping for. Even if you fail – it is up to you to get back up again, back on track and show all the bastards that made you doubt in yourself and your talents what you are made of!
That is the joy of being young! Living this life the way you want to. Taking it and turning it into your own TV-Show. Your own blockbuster Movie!
Where is the sense in being young if you do not enjoy what you have. A life worth living. Take the drama and get along with it. Be inspired by all the sadness and turn it into something amazing. If there was one thing I have learned from all the bad and all the sad and all those dramatic experiences that felt like a shadow heavy on my heart it was to draw from them, gaining strength from them, developing my own character further to become what I am now.
Stronger. Self-confident. Proud of what and who I am. Still doubting myself sometimes, of course but how can you grow and develop your character further without doubting in order to start working on something? If you don’t like yourself start working on that and NOT on finding someone to be in a relationship with just to burry all the discontent with yourself.
As I said before, and as I will say many more times – you are the one person you’ll have to get along with for the rest of your life. So why hating yourself, taking this life way too seriously instead of being proud of who you are, loving yourself, learning to appreciate everything you see when looking into a mirror and having fun every single day of your life!
Why being sad if you can be happy instead? Why being depressed about something longer than necessary if you might as well could take the anger and pain and turn it into something amazing?
P.S.: If you doubt – play this video, get the fuck up and dance, dance, dance!