Archive for Journalism and New Media
First of all, I don’t take myself that seriously. I take what I do seriously, and I try to do a good job. (Denzel Washington in GQ US Oct 2012)
At University I feel like being at a point of struggling lately. I don’t have a problem with my grades or my motivation or with the environment. I am actually quite comfortable there, though, there are a few things that really bug me, but hey, you can find things that bug you or make you mad or angry always somewhere, somehow. So, that’s no big deal for me.
As you already know from some earlier entries, I am getting my master’s degree in Journalism and New Media — if you haven’t known so far, you know now. These studies involve a lot of writing, heavy writing. Sometimes these written exposés try to take me out of my comfort zone and I’m going there, out of it. But early on, when signing the contract with the university, I kind of made a pact with myself. I swore to everything that’s worth the world to me, you know, Burberry; VOGUE; Jane Austen; that, no matter what I was about to say or write or do, it would always be consisting of three things: HONESTY, STYLE and AUTHENTICITY.
With everything I write and have people read I want them to not just get to know me and my point of view, I want to present them the perspective of someone finally having an opinion and putting it out there. Even if they do not agree with what I have to say or like the way I say things but at least, it makes them think about my words and actions and opinions and maybe even gets them to form their own opinions — either on me or the topics I write about. I don’t want people to always agree with me, I think most people don’t get that I live for making them speechless; wondering if I’m really being serious. I love to make people laugh or cry reading my words. I love people to be confused by my words; to later on think about what I said once. I want them to form an opinion about my words — either good or bad.
But, what I want the utmost is for them to always find ME in the words I write, the stories I tell!
That’s not because I think I am the most brilliant person in the world, or the most talented, or the most articulate, or the one everyone has to listen to. I know, compared to a lot of other more influential people I might am not influential at all but still — who I am reflects who I want to be. And one day I want to make a change. I want to show people that they can achieve anything they want if they truly stay themselves and go ahead with it. Pull it off relentlessly.
I just want people to know that they can rely on me having an opinion; having a character that I can put out there, a character that doesn’t give a fuck about the things other people say just because they do not like the fact that I’m straight forward and relentlessly sincere. That is the authenticity in my words. I know, I may put a lot of fashion words in writing because I love the visual language and emotional depth of clothing. I want to be a character, people trust because they know one hundred percent that I am honest with them, and straight forward, and that everything I say and write and do is authentically constituting myself. Giving them a part of something they might be able to relate to.
This is who I am and I can’t understand why people always try to force you to be more like the others or more formal or writing based on guidelines. I write what I think and feel and would say in every second I live and breathe, for everything I always wanted to do.
Don’t get me wrong — I do abide by a certain set of rules when it comes to writing, like grammar or spelling. But what I want people to understand and accept and respect and tolerate is the fact that out there one must be himself and unique in order to survive this crazy mixed up world. That is what I am — that is what I believe in — that is what makes me truly special and different. I know who I am and I always make sure people understand that no matter what I say and write and do — it’s done by myself. With outspoken HONESTY, sharp STYLE and one hundred percent AUTHENTICITY. All three in capital letters.
Take it, or leave it.
I know, I am guilty. I am sorry. And I could (maybe even should) apologize a thousand times for not writing quite recently but you must know, my real life was getting the best of me and I found myself in a zone where I had mixed feelings towards the person I was becoming in the last couple of months. I was at a crossroads drifting right into moments of doubt when I finally found myself all shiny and new again believing in myself like I have never before. So I will save you the apology shit and just try to make it up to you.
You know, life gives you moments to decide whether you take the self-pitying road down to nowhere or the doubt-forgetting road up to where you belong – The STARS! I’ve decided for myself to be a star! And so should you.
It is time to stop thinking about doing something but really doing it. Like writing this blog here. Or, more recently I thought about getting an MA degree. I thought about that for over a year and finally I said to myself, ‘fucking do it NOW!’ and so I applied for a Master’s degree in Journalism and New Media and I was invited to the first round of entry exams. I had to wait about two months to get the next invite to the second and third round of entrance examination and you know what? About a month ago I got the news. I am in. I got one of the rare 35 spots. And I had to fight against over 250 others. So, if I can do it – so do you!
My new flat finally feels like a place I can call home. I have all my VOGUE and ELLE and all my books and clothes here. The furniture looks exquisite and I just feel great every time I enter my apartment through the double door entrance. Thank GaGa the dream of my own apartment came true.
And, when we talk GaGa we should talk ‘LADY GAGA – The Born This Way Ball’ which I attended last night. One word: EPIC!
It was the perfect mixture of all the words I love – Fashion, Music, Magic, Extravaganza, Spectacularity, Divinity and Love. (Okay, the last one is a word I only use in combination with things I love to do and never connected to people. You know my issues about this topic and because of a recent, quite painful event I have decided to keep this box of topics hidden from my life now.)
Let me tell you – Lady GaGa was amazing! I was so close to her that I almost cried because of a sudden rush of happiness to be this close to someone I would consider a) a real natural talent b) a style icon and c) someone the younger generation can look up to for inspiration, strength and love for something one does to get ahead in life! She truly is an inspiration to me. And her music a source of strength. When she played my two most favorite songs ‘Bad Kids’ and ‘Marry the Night’ I just lost it. My Monster claws have constantly been up in the air to support her and I knew she felt the support of all of us. It was simply divine. The best concert of my life and while I might still be talking in a rush of emotions here, I have to say that there have also been quite a few negative things about the organization of yesterday’s event. I just think you need to know both sides, the good and the bad. It is just the honest thing to write down. And you know me – I am all about honesty and straight forwardness. The 250 bucks for my VIP Ticket definitely weren’t worth it. And let me tell you – a lot of people were angry and have been crying. (The GaGa gift was a poster of the tour… could have guessed that. No one communicated that there would be just monster pit and no area for those in possession of a VIP ticket – what the hell where the 250 bucks for? Dinner and drinks? Sorry, but I could have had dinner before the event and bought my drinks at the main bar saving myself about 150 bucks. What a fail by the Organizers! I only got so close to her because I fought my way through all the gays and straights.).
But what was worth it was waiting for Lady GaGa – she just delivered an ecstatic, authentic, perfect show full of music, fashion and love! Thank you for that. It was divine. And she even performed a new song of her Album Project ‘ARTPOP’ – Princess Die.
“Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)”
Operation: Kill the Bitch (interlude)
“Born This Way”
“Black Jesus † Amen Fashion”
Mother G.O.A.T. Manifesto I (interlude)
G.O.A.T Briefing (interlude)
“Fashion of His Love”
Mother G.O.A.T. Manifesto II (interlude)
“Heavy Metal Lover”
“Yoü and I” (acoustic)
“Americano” / “Poker Face” (medley)
“The Edge of Glory” (acoustic + album)
“Marry the Night”
Conclusion: If you have the chance to see her because she is in your city or close to your city, or if you do not mind traveling to see her, just fucking do it! And do it now! SHE IS A GODDESS!
P.S.: For those of you who think by G.O.A.T. Lady GaGa refers to the animal I have to put the true meaning out there:
G.O.A.T. = Government Owned Alien Territory in Space which is also the whole theme of the ‘LADY GAGA – The Born This Way Ball’ Tour!