Mr.StrictlyIntimate

the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

Archive for Tears

A Song That Should Be Played When You… / the Music Saga [Part II]


Given the circumstances of people around me recently getting disappointed or their heart broken by significant other’s I thought it might be time to cheer them up and show them not just my affection but that I am ALWAYS (in capital letters!) there for them whenever they need me. And, another thing that might help is the knowledge of the existence of people everywhere getting their heart broken almost any minute but most of them get back up, hold their heads up high and their hearts wide open to put themselves out there in order to one day find someone who knows they are worth fighting for. (And worth being the only one to date or fuck or touch at all.)

So here is Part II of my Music Saga – A Song That Should Be Played When You…

“…it’s alright, OK – I’m so much better without you! I won’t feel sorry.”

Ashley Tisdale – It’s Alright, It’s OK
[Album: Guilty Pleasure]

Ashley Tisdale - It's Alright, It's OK (Single Cover)

“…What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.”

Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
[Album: Stronger]

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) [Single Cover]

“…Trying to apologize, you’re so ugly when you cry. Please, just cut it out.”

Rihanna – Take a Bow
[Album: Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded]

Rihanna - Take a Bow (Single Cover)

“…Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Adele – Someone Like You
[Album: 21]

Adele - Someone Like You (Single Cover)

“…I will love again. Though my heart is breaking I will love again. Stronger than before.”

Lara Fabian – I Will Love Again
[Album: Lara Fabian]

Lara Fabian - I Will Love Again (Single Cover)

“…I’m a survivor (What?). I’m not goin’ give up (What?). I’m not goin’ stop (What?). I’m goin’ work harder (What?).”

Destiny’s Child – Survivor
[Album: Survivor]

Destiny's Child - Survivor (Single Cover)

“…nothing’s fine I’m torn! I’m all out of faith. This is how I feel.”

Natalie Imbruglia – Torn
[Album: Left Off the Middle]

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn (Single Cover)

In the end… all that a heartbreak mostly results in is pain and tears and emotional wasteland. But, with these songs, with a little help of your friends, with a lot of screaming and allowing yourself being angry and hurt you will be the one who stands up tall and eased and self-confident because you know you are stronger by going through the hard times. By working it out. By making yourself realize that if someone breaks up with you – he/she does not deserve it and isn’t worth the tears.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

P.S.: Those who I call my friends know one things – no matter what time it is, no matter how far away I am – I am ALWAYS (again, with the capital letters) there for you.

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Carrie Moments


Love never fails, does it? Mhmm... it does.

Recently I had the chance to think about Sex and the City a little bit more since I sometimes find myself taking forty minutes for a break from work every day to watch an episode and to get inspired by it. And since I went for a little walk yesterday at 10 pm and met up with a very very nice man I got to talk about Carrie and her messages and certain Sex and the City moments that still remain in our memory. Deciding that we both love the moment where Carrie and Aidan face each other and she begs him dearly to forgive him: ‘you have to forgive me. you have to forgive me. your have to forgive me. You – have – to – forgive – me!’ and seriously Aidan you simply had to because that moment was so real, so heartbreakingly honest and just so touching that one automatically remembers a moment where he had to beg, had to cry so dearly… you suddenly are being taken back to that certain moment where it all comes to an end with someone you truly fell in love with and even though there may have not been so much time spent together (for some reason people only seem to ask about the amount of time being in a relationship and not about the intensity of the love that holds the two of you together) you just feel the necessity of begging either for forgiveness or for not being left alone or for simply not walking away.

And so here I face myself and my inner demons and my heart and my mind and they finally decided to work together for a higher cause – preventing my heart from finally breaking and splitting and falling apart into thousands and millions of pieces that just can’t be mend by a weekend of liquor and months of draining your sorrows in writing or drinking or working or partying with your friends (or all at the same time) just to get over that vulnerable moment. Is there really a chance of being happily in love without feeling like losing something and then, what if you lose that special something (or someone) you had – it is breaking down, crying, falling apart all over again. Is that how life and love are supposed to live together? In my opinion that is not even the slightest bit close to a healthy symbiosis but to a way to ruin your inner piece by simply allowing someone else to touch you, to hurt you by presenting the most vulnerable of all parts of yourself – your heart. The thing that beats in your chest trying to keep you alive every single day – the one organ that tries to make you happy. And then you walk around breaking it just because you feel the need of falling in love in order to not being alone anymore? Does that makes sense to you?

To me it actually doesn’t and yet I face thousands of people still believing in love because they ask themselves – if love is not out there, if the one (THE ONE) is not out there, then what to live for? What to struggle for? What to aim for? What to look forward to? Settling down for something over an agreement – is that commitment. Real commitment in a sense Carrie and Mr. Big faced it or Charlotte and her Harry faced it or Miranda and her Steve faced it or even Samantha and her healthy libido faced it? Is something like that – the romantic, over produced, overrated love available in real life? Off screen and off screenplay?

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

to my Friends: Tears of thank you…


The last weekend has definitely been the worst of my entire life and as I lay in bed crying, thinking and tremendously hurt I had to realize that I am nothing without those who are always there for, who catch me when I fall, who dry my tears when I can’t because I am shaking heavily, who feed me because I haven’t eaten in days, who just are there listening and telling me I am stupid when I really am.
It is for those people that I live, that I love and that I laugh every single day…even if it is just a small smile – I am thankful for it because I know no matter what comes up I can handle it, because if I fall someone is there. My friends.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me this weekend, K – thank you for just letting me be with you when I needed you the most, M – for not having her birthday ruined by my mood and my tears, J – for smiling and telling me everything is going to be okay, M (male) – for always being there, for emailing with me and for listening to all my shallowness and craziness and sadness and still making me feel better with your wise words and finally R – my sister, my heart for just everything.

Thank you, thank you, thank you – life is so beautiful and it will be sunny again. That’s all I know for now. I will work on it. I promise. It will get better. I will get better.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

Song of the Day: the Cure


Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

Do you know the feeling when you listen to a certain song, that it is all about you – the way you think, the way you feel speaking out everything you wanted to say without being able to find the right words?! Well actually this happened to me today. When I was at work unpacking a lot of stuff with my iPod in ears and a lot of thoughts on my mind about a certain guy I ‘know’ [you never know someone through and through in my mind] I listened to an Album that I bought couple of months ago and somehow a song appeared that never got my particular attention before and somehow I just sat there and had tears in my eyes because the song not just only touched me, but opened my heart and my eyes for the first time in a very long time…

JORDIN SPARKS – THE CURE

Hush little baby, don’t you cry
Yeah, I know she hurt you
But it ain’t the end of your life

Cause I’m right here waiting
With open arms
I know you might feel shattered
But love should never bring you home

So consider this the moment
As defining who you are
And I can fix what’s broken
And here’s how I’ll start

Just come with your heart
And leave the rest to me
And I promise I will be
And I’ll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be
The medicine you need
Baby, I’ll be your cure
The cure

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

I can see she left you
With your heart wide open
But I can be your shelter
When the wind starts blowing
So don’t be afraid
Of what’s in front of you
Cause I know I’m strong enough
To carry us through

So consider this the moment
As defining who you are
And I can fix what’s broken
And here’s how I’ll start

Just come with your heart
And leave the rest to me
And I promise I will be
And I’ll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be
The medicine you need
And I’ll be your cure
(I’ll be the cure)
And I’ll be your cure
(I’ll be the cure)

I’ll be your healer
In my shinning armor
Just let me protect you
That’s what I’m here for

My love is a healer
If you let me near
Reach out and touch me
Just let me restore

Just come with your heart
And leave the rest to me
And I promise I will be
And I’ll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be
The medicine you need
And I’ll be your cure

Just come with your heart
And leave the rest to me
And I promise I will be
And I’ll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be
The medicine you need
And I’ll be your cure

(I’ll be the cure)
I’ll be your cure yeah yeah
(I’ll be the cure)
My love is strong enough
(I’ll be the cure)
Whenever you call yeah
(I’ll be the cure)
I am the cure

I hope you like, enjoy and feel this song as much as I do – have a nice evening and a beautiful night.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

a Song dedicated to Loss and Hope


I have something for you – as some kind of gift to remember all the ones you lost and still love with every inch of your heart. A song that follows me deep inside – through every motion, emotion – every step I take and every little, single move I make. It is heartbreakingly honest, sad and makes me cry every single time I listen to it, because it reminds me of the fragility of life – the omnipresence of loss and pain, tears and bitterness. It makes me realize that I have to be aware of losing this life sooner than I can imagine, or that I might lose someone that I love more than my own life.
Listen to it and close your eyes. It is said, but it gives hope, if you lost someone on the way.

JEM – YOU WILL MAKE IT
[Album: Down to Earth]

Go to bed every thing’s alright
Don’t know the whole
world’s changing
As you sleep through the night
Wake up slowly and it’s a
different world

Hear the news and the
floods begin
Screams so loud but only
felt within
Heart is shattered
The pieces can’t be found

I feel your pain, I wrote this
song for you, for you
You will make it, you will
make it through
I promise you, he would
want you to

Months go by, still living
in a daze
Don’t know what you’ve done
With the last seven days
Soul is numb and life
is like a dream

Helping hands but you
push them away
How could they understand
Don’t wanna share your pain
Afraid to heal, ’cause that
would be goodbye

I feel your pain, I wrote this
song for you, for you
You will make it, you will
make it through
I promise you, she would
want you to

One day sunlight hits
a photograph
And it makes you smile
The memories dance
around you now
And they make you smile
You’re not alone
You’ll never be
Just like the stars
They oversee
And they whisper to you
You’re still, you’re still,
You’re still, you’re still alive

I feel your pain, I wrote this
song for you, for you
You will make it, you
will make it through
I promise you, they would
want you to

Do not stand at my
grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds
that blow
I am the diamond glints
on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the
morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that
shine at night
Do not stand at my grave
and cry
I am not there, I did not die

I hope you like that song, and I hope that it strengthens you at least a bit, if you feel hurt, weakened and lost right now.
I am there for you. I always will be.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

the Night without Sleep


An entry I typed into my BlackBerry last night in bed…

It is 5.12. a.m. on a Sunday morning [January the 24th, 2010 – rather] and I am lying awake in bed listening to Robert Pattinson’s song ‘Never Think’ and can’t get myself to finally fall asleep – at least for a bit. Every now and then I feel some tears rolling down my eyes and cheeks onto my pillow which is wet by now, because my ex-boyfriend bombs me with short messages and I can’t cope with it the way I should [or wish I would be able to] after all this time.
I feel the way he is purposely hurting me but I can’t fight against it because I am too hurt and too weak for such a fight.
Actually I do not know why I got caught so deep into this whole thing but he just mesmerized me and everything he said in such a long period of time always seemed to be the only thing that counted for me.


What is it with love that people lose their minds and happen to be somehow addicted on someone as if your life would stick to it? What is it with this chemical process in our brains we call love that makes us zombie – like in our own life, somehow prisoners of everything we actually swore we never wanted to be? Is there any cure or way out to mend the pieces of a broken heart that are split all over the place?

I lie in my bed and it hurts – everything hurts. Every breath, every move, every little thought…even the slightest touch of my blanket which should actually comfort and warm me feels like a thousands pins.

When does it take an end? Will it ever take an end? Will this end be satisfying me? Or will this satisfaction turn out to be nothing but pure pain – forever more?

I don’t know, because you never quite know. Love is, well just love and it happens without an explainable reason. Would you want to stop it? Well – though all this pain I think I wouldn’t. There has to be someone out there that can truly love me… Or not?

XOXO

Mr.StricltyIntimate

P.S.: I did not fall asleep last night. I got up at 6.30 a.m. made myself some black tea with a shot of soy milk and worked on my next collection – a dedication to the trench coat – stay tuned for ore details. I love you, thanks for sticking with me.

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