Mr.StrictlyIntimate

the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.

the Mystery of True Love and the Line between Reality and Illusion

Tuesday - August 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm · Filed under Life, Love and tagged:


Love is one of the greatest mysteries in life. Sometimes you fall in love, completely and unexpectedly and sometimes you are waiting for love, impatiently and desperately. Love, a big word actually, something I can always write about, at any time, as you might have noticed, if you have read some of the articles on my Blog. But this time it is different.

True love, that is basically the topic for this article. And somehow I am always captured in this topic and its magic and above all writing about it from my point of view, but this time, my dear readers, it is not just all about me and my opinion. I asked several friends of mine to share their opinions with me, and they did, open and above board. So this time it is more kind of sharing and combining opinions and thoughts and hopes and dreams and analyzing the most mysterious of all kinds of love…true love.

So my friends L. the charming Brit-boy; and M. one of the most wonderful people on this planet; answered my questions and allowed me to quote them here, completely and absolutely pristine. My question actually was, if the term of true love really does exist, or if it just something that society made up and drum into our minds to give us something to actually aim for in life. Is it something that just happens in movies? And does this romantic themes, we see almost everywhere, set an image in our minds that no real love can fulfill, actually? Why is being on your own a taboo in today’s society and why is a couple the natural born enemy of a single?

is True Love just a matter of Imagination?

is True Love just a matter of Imagination?

With these questions and doubts in mind, I sat on my couch and in front of the laptop and realized that this time, it has to be different. And so I started to text message M. exactly these questions and I received back an email twenty minutes later with his answer to my thoughts of doubt.

M. on true love: I do not necessarily think it to be a bad thing to be on your own, at all. I always did good on my own, actually. Some people tensely search for a partner or a relationship, because they feel incapable of being alone. But I do believe, that if you do search for a relationship, tensely, then you easily think of being in love. To my mind every human being needs to be free, open and capable of living his/her life without constantly thinking about loneliness and desperately needing a partner. Life isn’t all about finding the ideal partner. I think, true love exists…for everyone and I do not think, that it is something drum in by society who made us believe that this ‘phenomenon’ exists. I definitely believe in true love. When true love appears you recognize her. A lot of people think to be in love, feeling true love, at almost every partner they have in their lives. I have never been like that. True love isn’t something describable in one or two simple sentences. It’s something that you feel and recognize. When it’s there, it’s always there and just feels absolutely right. I think it to be of a great importance to listen to one’s heart and one’s mind when it comes to loving someone. You will recognize true love when it’s there, always. It is not something you can generalize, at all. Everyone experiences it in his/her own kind of emotional range and shape.

That’s why I love this guy. He is so romantic. Hopelessly. Isn’t that cute?

While writing Mails and text messages with M. I have been online and wrote a bit with L. on IM and asked him exactly the same thing. This boy is unbelievably intelligent and I enjoyed reading his statement.

L. on true love: Well initially I think of it logically. I recognize it as a social construct, but then I question what is true love? The definition of love is entirely fluid, it’s an invisible, immeasurable concept which you really cannot entirely define. Then true? What does true actually mean? For something be true it must be consistently accurate and genuine which I don’t think love is. Then I have to remember I’m a dreamer and as I’m human, I am subject to idealism. I would like to think true love exists, but it’s like religion – you can never be sure. I don’t think society necessary drum it into us, I think it’s the basic human instinct of caring and the need to be cared for is why the concept of ‘true love’ exists. But then again, if you see it as a social concept – it’s even more fluid. True love can be something completely different to one from another. So therefore it exists, so yes I believe in it but not necessary what it stands for.

Little L. with the typical British charm captured me in his definition while I sent a message to Mr.TechnicalAdvice that I am currently working on a very interesting topic and that he should be excited about my next piece. Well, he always is.

So, what do you think about true love? Does it exist in its romantic value or is it just an issue made of Hollywood glamor clouds and society?

True love…exists, in my mind and you know that I believe in it with my whole heart, but do you? Your opinions on this topic are highly appreciated, my dear readers.

XOXO

Mr.StrictlyIntimate

8 Comments»

  liberatedself wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 12:18 am

mmm.. You will probably see some re-occurring themes in this interpretation of true love.

I will however not say i believe or not believe whether it exists or does not exist, because Love in its unconditional state is bound by belief but by experiencing not in its traditional sense but by feeling.

Love goes beyond what human beings have described it as over time, we can only conceptualize something in words but Love is as mystifying as God is, it is not something that can be explainable. We know it is there from the experience and it offers an eternal freedom within. If this is not what you are feeling then that is not True love, only a fragment of the actual thing.

Like M said about aloneness, that it doesn’t necessarily happen through two human beings that it absolutely starts from within, how can you love another if you do not love yourself, that is like saying I’m going to love someone without first knowing what love is. You are grabbing at the dark blindly, simply put we are asleep (including myself).

I would say Unconditional Love (or True Love), whatever you want to call it can be best seen through nature, if you watch nature, it whispers its soft words into the ears through feeling. A Tree gives it shade freely, it does not withhold its shade from a murderer or from a saint, its whole being is to give its shade and oxygen to whatsoever needs it. Does a rose not give its scent to no one, but everyone in the same token. Its nature for this to occur and humans have this nature, but you must first be aware that it exists and are receptive to it.

All in all, love is a mystery, no matter how much we try and find out what Love is, it will elude because it does not live in the bounds of the mind, because the mind is only a compilation of fragments, and how can you get a whole out of a fragment, it is just not possible.

The stuff in hollywood is a facade of what True Love is, it will never be able to touch on the actual beauty and grandeur of what actually is, the eternal state of it. It is within you and always will be, it is not something cultivated but is your Being. You are meant to experience it because you ARE it.

although in the same token you are not it solemnly, you are much more, and at this time things become distorted just as words always do, when talking of things that are inexplainable.

I hope you’re able to take something from this. ❤

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  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 9:29 am

Dear liberatedself,

first of all, thank you very much for your words.

I completely share your opinion, above all, when you say, that you cannot love someone else, if you cannot love yourself, I wrote that phrase some posts before this and it is absolutely true.
How could you say you love someone if you are incapable of using the word love for yourself, your mind, soul and body?

Hollywood is definitely a facade but don’t you think that it influenced people’s view on the reality of true love very much? I believe that people tend to dream more and believe in states of unreality above all when it comes to love. It is nice to see two human beings in a movie falling in love while writing emails but in real life, it is strange to believe you find real love just by writing emails with someone. Doesn’t it take more?

I definitely took something from your opinion.

XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate

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  peek-a-boo wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’ which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love is burned away and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Lovers’ roots grow toward each other underground and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from the branches they find themselves as one tree not two.

VOLTAIRE said…”Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroided by imagination.”

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  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Good point. I really like your opinion and that and it is very down to earth without the over-romanticized aspect. Just a pure clean cut between reality and illusion.

” Love itself is what is left over when being in love is burned away and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
In some ways it might be true, but don’t you think there is something everlasting and that to love someone equals being in love with someone? And when two trees become one, isn’t there a romantic aspect anymore? Does sharing your life with someone automatically mean burning love away and live with the left overs?

XOXO

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  peek-a-boo wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Hello!
It was impossible to write down everything I meant to say (especially at work on my late lunchbreak ) but in addition I’d like to say YES Love is “everlasting”.There’s the Romeo and Juiette in all of us I’m sure.
However “to love someone equals being in love” begs to differ imo. We may love our parents to the ends of the earth but are not in love with them.

“And when 2 trees become 1 isn’t there a romantic aspect anymore?”…..au contraire the unision IS the romantic aspect.Like an eternal and passionate embrace.

“Does sharing your life with someone automatically mean burning love away and live with the left overs?”…..We are all mortals so passion and love burns away at the speed of a lifetime sometimes short unfortunately.When one partner leaves existence the remaining partner has to pick up the pieces and cope with the painful situation.I regret using the term ‘left over’.Blame it on looking at whats left of my ham sandwich on the table.Perhaps I should have strengthend my sentence with a more romantique term like cinders or simply une histoire d’amour.

I like a quote by Plato that says…”At a touch of love everyone becomes a poet.”

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  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @ Wednesday - August 12, 2009 at 3:44 pm

I am very fond of your opinion.

Indeed, two trees uniting is a highly romantic situation, just like two pieces of a heart uniting in everlasting love to a always beating one.

I guess, ‘left over’, was a little bit harsh, that irritated me a little bit, because I am a deeply romantic kind of guy and to me it sounded like there is no romantic aspect left in your opinion, but I am glad to hear it is still somewhere inside of you.

‘Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.’ [Antoine de Saint-Exupery]

‘Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.’
[Amy Bloom]

XOXO

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  liberatedself wrote @ Thursday - August 13, 2009 at 1:45 am

I think “true love” as human beings know it is solemnly seen from the perspective of the outside influence, most people are not willing to go within to find out that they are what they are searching for. One can not be “in love” rather one is Love to begin with, how can you be something that you are.

In the same token by being love, one is in love. It sounds contradictory but until you can experience that love comes from the unknown instead of the known, it will continue to look this way. Whatever is known in this world is already dead, and Love does not follow this progression, as Life does not follow a linear progression.

I’m a fan of my being, that which IS and it is called many things, for this discussion its called Love, in others it may be called God, Awareness, Consciousness, but whatever you want to call it, you’ve always have had it but since the body was born it was put back to sleep by the ideas of other things that are too, asleep. So to be awake is to be Love.

I definitely agree that externally “true love” is portrayed quite different then what it actually is. This is an idea that human beings follow because its so known that its safe, when they know very well that Love does not follow this known rule, it cannot, not because it doesn’t want to but because that’s its nature.

peek-a-boo said, “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides” which is good in its own right but i do not believe Love to be madness, it is very clear sighted. I think unawareness causes the madness, or attachment that one needs to be dependent on someone. You can be Love but not be attached, look at The Christ, The Buddha, or Krishna, they were very much Love, but they were not attached. If the love was there it was shared and if it was not, then the enjoyment of their own beautiful song was sufficient.

Love is like a rock being thrown into a pond, the rings start from the center and then extend outward.

Cheers. 🙂

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  Mr.StrictlyIntimate wrote @ Thursday - August 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Your point on peek-a-boo’s quote is very good, and I have to agree partly with your opinion that love is not a madness, because on the other side peek-a-boo is right.
Love drives us mad sometimes. It makes us act insanely sometimes and it even controls our moods. That is, I do believe a part of an uncontrollable, yet undefinable madness. At least, in my opinion.

‘Love is like a rock being thrown into a pond, the rings start from the center and then extend outward.’, that is definitely a wonderful quotation I will keep in mind and always remember.

XOXO

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