Mr.StrictlyIntimate
the Life, the Love and the Sex of Vienna.something to think, feel, ache, heal, get over anything that breaks the Heart
Something to think about…something to break up…something to sing about…something when you are lonely and something when you need to calm your soul from all the pain you feel and can’t get rid off as easily as you’d wish you could.
One of my all time favourite songs, the one that actually helped me out when I needed it the most. I am thankful for Taylor Swifts’ Album ‘Fearless’ and her song ‘You’re not sorry’, an ode, an homage and an anthem at the same time.
You’re Not Sorry
[by Taylor Swift]
All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it’s taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you’re thinking we’ll be fine again
But not this time around
You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby
Like I did before
You’re not sorry, no, no, no, no
Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn’t know
Could’ve loved you all my life
If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I’m tired of being last to know
And now you’re asking me to listen
Cause it’s worked each time before
But you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby
Like I did before
You’re not sorry, no, no, oh
You’re not sorry, no, no, oh
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would’ve gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There’s nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby
Like I did before
You’re not sorry
As she said – FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say ‘you’re NOT sorry’, and walk away!
If you have to, stop believing them and walk away to stand up and live a new life.
I am with you. I love you.
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
the List of Achievements – and my Personal Goals – or how I will always make You remember me
Yesterday I saw one of my most favourite movies – a Walk to Remember – and I will tell you something that might shock you right now, but every time I see it, I cry like a baby, because it is so touching and so honest and above all so real to me. So I sat there in the dark [all lights turned off] with my tee and a blanket on my couch [all by myself, of course, just as usual] and I stated crying, right the second the movie started just because I always remember how it will end at that thought makes me cry right at the beginning. Though it is weird, I like it, I really do enjoy it sometimes.
a Walk to Remember
In the movie Mandy Moore [playing the role of Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan] is suffering from leukemia and she set a list for herself, a list of goals she wants to achieve until the day she dies. And somehow this list is something that I think I should try by myself too, with my own goals, of course. So this is kind of the contract between me, myself and I, that until the day I face death, I will achieve following goals [not in this order of course, but this is a chart placing in order of personal importance - but I will only show you the five most important ones]:
5. I want a man proposing to me on one knee, with the perfect ring and the perfect environment and of course, he should plan everything in detail and above all secretly. But I kind of give up that thought slowly…somehow it seems that there is no man left over for me, at least no man with a sense of style, a romantic touch and above all manners, at least not in the gay world on which I kind of depend when it comes to finding a man.
4. I want to play a role in a movie or a TV show – even if it is small, I just want to be a part of such a production. I desire the feeling of having a spot set on me and then someone calls my name and it goes ‘Lights…Cameras…Action!’ and I pose and play my ass of.
3. I want to be able to buy myself an Hermès Birking Bag, because I dream of owning this bag, since I am ten years old. Above all, I am absolutely jealous because Victoria Beckham owns an unbelievable number of Birkin Bags and I want to be like her when it comes to carrying them around.
2. I want to study in London, Central Saint Martins – my Master’s degree in Fashion Journalism is waiting for me and it screams my name. Every night before I go to sleep I hear it screaming my name from London over to my flat.
1. I want to be Editor in Chief of Vogue one day and actually nothing is going to stop me killing myself by trying as hard as I possibly can to achieve my heart’s desire. Since I am a boy of nine years I want to lead Vogue and I am sure, that there is no other plan for me. That’s what I want and that will be what I get in the end.
Well, that is my plan of making you remember me, every single day of my life, and actually you are a part of it now, that you are a reader of my blog. Everything I did so far, everything I do now and everything I will do in my future is a part of my plan to conquer Vogue and fulfill all my dreams and all my tasks and all my plans.
You are a part of it and you know you like it. I love you.
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
Dreams and Plans and Heart’s Desires – and the facing of the Fear of Failure
I feel like it is time to give people something to think about. In the last time I often came across thinking about fear and anxiety and of course, like usual about love. Sometimes it feels as if I am the only left over single in Vienna, because every time I go out with my girls or just shopping, or having dinner, it seems to me as if the whole city is in love or catched by the love train, except for me. At the moment I do not want to fall in love actually, because I am very stressed out and I have a lot to do with my bachelor degree, but sometimes it would be wonderful to just lie in someone’s arms in front of the TV in the rare moments of free time – but it is as it is, and I am fine with it, though a little bit lonely (I really have to admit this honestly).
I thought it is a good time now to talk about things, that motivate me throughout my life and in my life. Things that help me to move on, actually various quotations that make my mind and my will strong to go on fighting and working as hard for my future dream as it is necessary and even beyond necessity. I happen to think that things such as quotations can help you a lot, because they strengthen your mind and make you strong, such as music that calms my soul and heals my heart actually.
Fear brings you to a Dead Spot
One of the most important quotations for me is actually written down by Taylor Swift on her second album ‘Fearless’. It is about being fearless, and its necessity and meaning in life and of course the personal meaning. It is inspirational and it helps me to move on better and stronger every time I read it, which is actually on a daily basis:
‘To me, FEARLESS is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again…even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say ‘you’re NOT sorry’, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…that’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. Because I think love is FEARLESS.’
It is sometimes hard for everyone to hold on and to follow your dreams and ambitions, when you face fears of failure which I often do because though I have a strict plan set in mind I often come across thinking if I am able to do it. I have a lot of self confidence, sometimes even too much I would dare say, but when you face people around you doubting in your plans and talents it is hard to remain strong and ascertained, though I do my best, every single day, because I know that I will go my way. But sometimes you just cannot NOT doubt in your own talents and dreams and plans and hopes and wishes – it is an inevitable state of life, of every one’s life and we have to admit sometimes that we doubt, because it is just a human thing…it is absolutely human and you can’t ignore it because going through it, working your way through doubts (not only self doubting) makes you stronger and firm and fierce and brave – and this is what you need to follow your dreams, your heart’s desires.
Well you will see me one day – and you will be surprised.
To all the doubters…I will show you how valuable I am.
To all the haters…it is jealousy that prevents you from thinking about your own failures.
To all the believers…I love you!
Follow your dreams. You can do it all and I believe in you!
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
the Magic 7 [Part II]: 7 Things we do not want to Hear when someone Breaks Up with us…
the Magic 7
1. It’s not you, it’s me…boys and girls, no one will ever be that stupid to really believe this obvious, shameless lie. You must own the intelligence quotient of a nutcracker to be insane enough to think that this famous quotation taken out of a movie could honestly be a tongue-in-cheek break-up reason that gets along without any kind of statement, giving the impression as if you suffer from mental retardation. Cut it out, really.
2. I need some Time for myself… really, guys, if you want to fuck someone else break up right and do not pretend as if you would honestly need to take some time to think about your emotional detachments. Do you really believe anyone buys such lame excuses? Let me tell you one thing – NOT AT ALL! The last time I have heard this sentence a friend of mine/colleague got kicked out of her flat by her boyfriend, though they owned it together…and now she lives with her mother again, because he told her, that he needed some time to think about the relationship and his feelings, but he would tell her after about one week, if he still wanted to be with her. In this one week she gave him – she had to give him – he told all his friends it was completely over and she heard it from one of his friends, because it accidentally slipped out of his mouth. Nice way bastard!
3. I love you, but I love me more…please, let us be honest – this sentence doesn’t even sound right out of Samantha Jones’ mouth. It is all wrong though sincere – but loving yourself more than someone else is just sad actually and very narcissistic. And totally unnecessary, of course. Loving yourself is truly important when it comes to loving others’, because those who cannot afford love for their own minds, bodies and souls can never afford it for another human being. So love yourself – but don’t distend it!
4. Can we stay friends?…NO, we can’t! How dare you breaking up and still thinking of keeping a friendship alive that maybe ends up fucking one another just out of a bad habit?! A former relationship doesn’t mean that you have to keep your connection by a sexual relationship going. It’s disgusting and poor. And by the way sharing a bed doesn’t mean sharing a friendship – two different pair of shoes, one solution – cat fight!
5. I think I am incapable of maintaining a relationship…OH! Poor you. ‘Forced’ into a ‘lifetime’ commitment and one time you suddenly awake and think: ‘I can’t!’. Keep it real – not being able to maintain a relationship to another human being just symbolizes that your emotional intelligence and your social competence are poorer developed than your lack of intelligence and authority of expressing a grammatically correct sentence.
6. I fell in love with someone else…and I must have been some kind of pastime on your fabulous way of finding Mr./Mrs. Right?! Thanks- feels absolutely great- oh, and by the way (btw) you are an asshole for meeting other people to get the chance to fall for someone else, while you are in a relationship with me. Fidelity must be a synonym for volatility in your dictionary.
7. You deserved someone better than me…AH…What?! Just kidding, right? This can’t be a serious reason for breaking up with me. If you really, really…really believe that I am that wonderful to deserve someone special, perfect, better – than you would never ever dare to give me away because of being proud that you caught me in your web. Honestly – you got some real issues. In fact you mean you deserve someone better, but you are afraid to be straight enough to speak that out- right into my face. Sorry – unacceptable!
I’d wish this post/article/piece would prevent people from speaking out those sentences – but unfortunately I guess some human beings will remain unable of expressing the truth. One recommendation? Be honest. Be straight. Be you.
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
P.S.: Check out the Magic 7 [Part I]: 7 Men you should not have a Date with.
The last Year of University
A new year of Gossip is about to start. My last and most important year at University will definitely bring up a lot of interesting rumors, gossip and interesting stories which I definitely have to tell you.
So stay tuned when this two semesters are all about life, love and sex. Oh and of course about my final collection, which I will show you when the time is right.
XOXO
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
Mr.StrictlyIntimate
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